Chapter 1: Monnapha

    Heaven…

    Or hell? Where am I?

    Monnapha blinked rapidly as she followed a line crowded with people. No... not people, but the spirits of the deceased. Some had cleavers stuck in their throats, others held their severed arms, some were headless, while a few had rope marks around their necks and blood dripping from the corners of their mouths. Others bore bullet and stab wounds all over their bodies.

    Some women cradled a red newborn in her arms, indicating that she had died before being able to give birth. Each soul was absorbed in the moment just before their death; some muttered about seeking revenge, others were lost in thought or sobbed in sorrow... No one paid any attention to anyone else.

    Every spirit was marked on the wrist with the text '11/4/2018 Batch'.

    It was likely the day of their death. People have schoolmates from elementary, high, and university levels, and even work colleagues, so why not also have death batch mates? It’s somewhat quirky. Everyone in line died on the same day, which was quite busy due to the numerous fatal car accidents that causing mass death during the Songkran festival. Some, however, passed away peacefully from natural causes. Monnapha thought these spirits must have accumulated good karma, but some suffered painful deaths from severe illnesses, their bodies emaciated and pitiful.

    Monnapha pondered her own situation... What did she die from?...

    Her last memory was of taking her parents to worship at a shrine.

    Hmm... Monnapha felt around her body but found no injuries. Maybe a sudden heart attack?... Unlikely, since she had been healthy all her twenty years with no prior conditions or ominous signs. It seemed like she was just placing incenses in the joss-stick pot to pay respect to the deity one moment and the next, she found herself walking in line.

    The entrance split into several paths, divided by religious beliefs and faiths. They walked through the gate of what they believed in. There were gates for Buddhists, Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, ghost worshipers, even followers of the obscure nonsense sect. Monnapha hesitated because she worshiped broadly—from Hindu gods to spirit mediums, Naga, or even banana trees that produce a weird-shaped fruit; she lit incense for all... Now, there was a problem… Which religious to choose? There were no right or wrong answers, but she blushed when questioned.

    After hesitating while others started to thin out, the young woman decided to choose the 'Unsure' gate.

    "Hello, spirits of the 'Unsure'. Batch of 11/4/2018, this way, please. We will start the interview now."

    Before Monnapha was a large rock inscribed with the Chinese characters for 'Fate'. This rock shimmered with seven-colored lights like disco lights and even responded like an automated voicemail system. Spirits stood in line in front of this Fate Rock, reading the manual for the afterlife and waiting to be judged whether they would go to hell or heaven.

    "Why don’t I get to go to heaven? I want to be an angel,"

    a good-looking woman at the front of the line questioned the Fate Rock. Monnapha craned her neck to see and recognized her as a famous singer who won the Golden Globe every year. Monnapha was thrilled to be death batch mates with a celebrity. Not born on the same day, but died on the same day—how cool!

    The famous singer's question echoed with a chorus of agreement down the line of spirits. Everyone wanted to ascend to heaven. The Fate Rock shifted its colors, creating a dizzying display, before bursting into laughter.

    "And why do you think you should go to heaven, dear?"

    "Even though I haven’t done any grand good deeds, I’ve never engaged in anything depraved either."

    "Oh dear!" The rock smiled softly, did not stop laughing. Behind the seven-colored Fate Rock, there were two doors; the lampshade above the hell door was brightly lit, while the lampshade above the heaven door was dark, indicating that the famous singer was destined for hell. The reason was known only to her. Generally, small children would opened the heaven door, while some clerics would go to hell as soon as they met the Fate Rock's gaze. Well… This screening point was truly ruthless.

    As Monnapha waited for her interview with the Fate Rock, underworld employees in suits with bow ties walked around with megaphones, lecturing about good and evil and the cyclic nature of life and rebirth. The more Monnapha listened, the more she suffered, as the lecturer's voice matched the chanting from the free vegan food hall near her home that drilled into her ears.

    "After the Fate Rock completes the interview, and you have received the result of your sins and virtues in hell or heaven, you need not worry. If you wish to be reborn, report to Grandma Meng[1]. Your next birth will depend on the karma you have accumulated. I recommend you pray a lot to carry wisdom in your next life. Those who don’t wish to be reborn yet will need to work. You can choose to be a local deity or a grim reaper. The God of Death doesn’t pay wages, but you will earn merit points in return."

    Merit points... that sounded familiar, but sure enough, even in death, they couldn’t escape being underpaid. Monnapha opened the afterlife manual to kill time. Most of it described heaven and hell, and the pictures in the book weren’t as scary as she had been led to believe. The God of Death said that the conditions of heaven and hell depend on our own minds. Monnapha prayed that wherever she ended up, it would at least have an all-you-can-eat barbecue buffet.

    Finally, the line shortened until it was Monnapha’s turn for the interview. The slender woman stepped forward, trying her best to smile like a good person.

    "I have a lie detector system. It will beep when you lie," said the Fate Rock, changing its light from purple to indigo, blue, green, yellow, red-orange, and red. "If I ask a question and catch you lying, you’ll fall into the thirty-year unpaid OT hell tier. So, don't lie... Oh, it looks like you don’t believe me. Try saying a lie."

    "Um... A pig has two tails and six legs."

    "Beep."

    “A fish has wings like a bird.”

    “Beep.”

    “My breasts are A cup,” Monnapha said and then bit her lip. Please let out that ‘beep beep beep’ sound. The Fate Rock remained silent! It knew she wasn't lying. These round, bouncy breasts were seventy percent silicone stuffed into a C cup bra. Damn it… Monnapha gnashed her teeth in frustration as the rock smirked. There was no lie-detector beep. Okay... she believed now that the Fate Rock could indeed detect lies.

    “Alright, I'm going to start asking you questions. How old are you?”

    “Twenty,” Monnapha nervously introduced herself quickly. “I’m studying veterinary medicine, I’m second from the bottom of my class in terms of grades... I’m late in the mornings, chill in the afternoons, and hurry home in the evenings. My favorite hobby is reading Boys' Love novels, especially the ones where brothers fall in love with each other. Uh... I... um... had to dissect frogs in class; am I going to hell for that?”

    “Calm down, girl. You’ll find out soon.”

    The seven-colored rock glowed as it scanned her body to assess her. After the first round of scanning, the Fate Rock muttered under its breath before emitting light repeatedly as if something was amiss. It processed for a long while until finally, the Fate Rock turned off its disco lights and grabbed a megaphone next to it, turned it up to full volume, and shouted.

    “This bitch isn’t dead yet!! Who brought a living person down to the underworld?!”

[1] The deity in the underworld, has the duty of concocting a potion for the souls about to be reborn, making them forget all memories from their past lives.