Episode 04

    After they walked out together to sit at the pavilion by the water, the atmosphere between the two of them became even more awkward than when they were in the funeral hall. At least in there, if they stayed silent, there were still the voices of other people filling the room, so the silence wasn’t so heavy. But now, the atmosphere was completely still—to the point that if an insect flew by, you’d probably hear it. Kab Kluen sat holding a cup of hot cocoa in his hands, looking quietly up at the sky. He still didn’t dare start a conversation with He Xing Yi, because he saw the older boy was busy typing something on his phone. Kab Kluen kept glancing over from time to time and could see that He Xing Yi had a wide smile on his face the entire time. Kab Kluen didn’t know who He Xing Yi was talking to, but deep in his heart, he suddenly felt inexplicably sad. He turned his face back toward the view in front of him and let out a soft, heavy sigh—right at the same moment that He Xing Yi happened to finish and put his phone away into his pocket. While Kab Kluen was lost in thought, He Xing Yi suddenly asked a question.

    “It’s been a long time. How are you, Kluen? Doing well?”

    Kab Kluen, who had been feeling down from not receiving the attention from He Xing Yi the way he had imagined, couldn’t help but smile happily once the older boy finally broke the silence. He turned his face to look at He Xing Yi, smiled slightly, and replied:

    “I’m doing well. Nothing much going on—just studying, hanging out, and coming home to get nagged by Dad every day. Lately, I’ve started preparing to study more seriously and looking for tutoring centers to get ready for university entrance.”

    “Ah, that’s good. It’s best to prepare early. When the real exams come, you’ll have an easier time. Have you thought about which faculty you want to enter?”

    “I don’t really know yet what I like or what I want to do. But I’m thinking of studying law like Dad wants. What about you, Brother Yi? How have you been?”

    Kab Kluen didn’t want to talk about himself at all. The moment he finished answering He Xing Yi’s question, he quickly threw one back—because he wanted to know more about how He Xing Yi had been all this time.

    “Studying hard. Haven’t had much time to rest. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

    He replied in a calm, emotionless voice, eyes looking straight ahead, occasionally glancing back at his phone screen.

    “Uncle Yan and Uncle Ai must be so worried seeing you study so hard without getting any rest. Overworking your body isn’t good, you know. You should find time to rest too, so your body doesn’t get too stressed or exhausted.”

    Kab Kluen said in a long, caring tone.

    “Mm,” But He Xing Yi only responded with a short reply.

    “So… how are the two puppies doing now? Are they still as cute as before? And what about their mom—still healthy?” Kab Kluen was the one who brought up another topic again, because there were so many things he wanted to talk to He Xing Yi about.

    “They’re less naughty now that they’re older, but still playful. They’re all in good health.”

    “That’s great. It’s been years and they’re still healthy. I’m fourteen now and I still want to have a dog, but I don’t know if Dad would allow it yet. But I think he probably will—because I feel like I’m grown up enough now to take responsibility for another life.”

    “Ah, hope you get to have one then.”

    No matter what Kab Kluen said, He Xing Yi would respond with short answers—nothing that could be carried on, and he didn’t ask Kab Kluen any questions in return. Kab Kluen looked over at He Xing Yi and saw that he was entirely absorbed in his phone screen, not really paying much attention to what Kab Kluen was saying—as if he were just half-listening. Because of that, no matter how much Kab Kluen wanted to talk, how much he wanted to share with He Xing Yi, he had to stop himself. He Xing Yi was too focused on his phone—even when Kab Kluen stared at his face for a long time, He Xing Yi didn’t even notice.

    Kab Kluen didn’t know why, but somehow this reunion didn’t feel as good as he had imagined. He Xing Yi didn’t seem happy to see him. They didn’t have much to talk about. In fact, Kab Kluen felt a distance between them—a distance he couldn’t cross. And yet, when they were young, they had been so close. But now, sitting here together again, Kab Kluen felt as if they were meeting for the very first time. There was no closeness at all. Kab Kluen couldn’t see any trace of the older brother he used to like in the He Xing Yi sitting beside him now.

    “Why did you completely disappear all this time, Brother Yi?”

    Amidst the silence, while He Xing Yi’s attention was elsewhere, Kab Kluen suddenly asked the question. It finally drew He Xing Yi’s eyes away from his phone to look at him.

    “At first, I was swamped with school. I barely had time to touch my phone. Then I accidentally dropped it in the school pond and had to change my number.”

    He Xing Yi answered plainly, his voice flat and even.

    “But even then, you could’ve messaged me on LINE… or Instagram.”

    He Xing Yi stared at Kab Kluen’s face for a moment before replying.

    “Sorry, Kab Kluen. I couldn’t remember your number, your LINE, or your Instagram. I’ve been really busy, and we exchanged LINE contacts so long ago that I forgot about it.”

    Upon hearing what He Xing Yi said, Kab Kluen’s face visibly fell. He froze for a moment, then gave a small smile and let out a dry chuckle. He nodded slightly in acknowledgment and turned his face forward, thinking to himself:

    ‘But I remember everything about you.’

    The silence returned to settle between them once more. Neither of them said a word. While Kab Kluen sat there lightly squeezing his cup of hot cocoa, he accidentally applied too much pressure and spilled the scalding drink all over his hand.

    “Ouch!” Kab Kluen cried out loudly in pain.

    Hearing his cry, He Xing Yi immediately set aside his phone and hurriedly took out a handkerchief he always carried with him. He quickly wiped the cocoa off Kab Kluen’s hand, asking with urgency and concern:

    “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

    “…” Kab Kluen was momentarily stunned, forgetting to answer. He just kept staring at He Xing Yi’s worried face, unable to look away, before slowly smiling, feeling a warmth inside.

    “Seeing you worry about me like this… it reminds me of when we were kids, how you used to take care of me. Back then, you took care of me so well, I almost felt like a little girl instead of a little boy.”

    “You were so mischievous I had no choice but to look after you.”

    He replied in a calm voice as he continued wiping up the cocoa. The silence between them returned once more. Kab Kluen just stared at He Xing Yi’s face, saying nothing. It was unclear how much time had passed before Kab Kluen finally broke the silence again.

    “Brother Yi… do you still remember that you once said you would marry me?”

    Kab Kluen asked that question because he wanted to know if He Xing Yi still felt the same way about him. If he learned that He Xing Yi no longer liked him, Kab Kluen would give up—he’d let go of that feeling and forget the promise that had once been made.

    The moment He Xing Yi heard Kab Kluen’s question, he froze for a second before replying in a calm, flat voice.

    “I don’t remember anymore. That was four years ago. Whatever I might’ve said back then, I’ve forgotten it all. Besides, we were so young at the time, and when kids say things, they don’t really think them through first. It was just something a kid said. Don’t take it seriously.”

    When he finished speaking, He Xing Yi let out a soft laugh. But hearing those words made Kab Kluen deeply hurt. His lips pressed tightly together as he turned his face away, feeling tears start to well up in his eyes. To He Xing Yi, it was just a childish promise, something said without thought. But to Kab Kluen, it meant so much. He hadn’t forgotten it—not like He Xing Yi had. And he hadn’t agreed to it just because he was a kid. He had agreed because when he grew up, he really did want to marry He Xing Yi. Kab Kluen had believed his wish would come true. But now, it seemed like everything had only ever been a dream. And maybe it was finally time to wake up.

    Vrrr, vrrr. Just then, He Xing Yi’s phone began to vibrate. The moment he heard the sound, he quickly turned to look at it. Upon seeing that it was the person he’d been waiting for, he immediately got up from the ground and walked away from Kab Kluen to answer the call—without sparing Kab Kluen a single glance.

    Kab Kluen watched from a distance as He Xing Yi stood talking on the phone, and he noticed how different He Xing Yi looked now compared to just moments ago when they were talking. While on the call, He Xing Yi was smiling—smiling so broadly that it reached his eyes. It was the smile of someone who was truly happy. He looked completely like himself. And yet, just earlier, He Xing Yi had barely spoken to Kab Kluen. Now, on the phone, he wouldn’t stop talking. His voice was soft and gentle, far more tender than before. He laughed repeatedly, again and again. It made Kab Kluen realize just how happy He Xing Yi was… and the look in his eyes while talking on that phone call told Kab Kluen everything he needed to know: He Xing Yi didn’t love him anymore.

    That gaze—the one that used to show love, care, and concern—there wasn’t a trace of it left for Kab Kluen. All of it was now reserved for the person on the other end of that call. And that person… was Hao Ran.

    "It really was just childish talk. I never should’ve taken it seriously in the first place. That’s how it should be."

    Fourteen-year-old Kab Kluen let his tears fall freely, quickly wiping them away. Bang! Just then, a loud noise rang out from inside the cathedral. Kab Kluen didn’t know what it was, but shortly after, the sound of shouting erupted, followed by people rushing out in panic. Startled and confused, Kab Kluen quickly ran back into the venue.

    “Dad!”

    Kab Kluen shouted loudly for Achira as soon as he entered and saw his father lying in He Xing Yan’s arms. A large bloodstain was spreading across his chest. Kab Kluen’s eyes widened in shock as he rushed toward Achira as fast as he could.

    “Achira, don’t you dare fall asleep! Don’t sleep, you hear me? Hang in there—I already called for an ambulance! Don’t fall asleep on me, damn it!” He Xing Yan spoke to his friend over and over, panicked, while trying to stop the bleeding.

    “Dad, what happened to you? Why are you like this all of a sudden? Who did this to you?!”

    Kab Kluen fired off questions one after another, tears streaming uncontrollably from his eyes at the sight of his injured father—whose face now showed signs that he might not be able to hold on much longer.

    “Dad… hic…” Kab Kluen kept calling Achira’s name over and over.

    “When is the ambulance going to get here? Someone please—go get the ambulance!”

    “Kab Kluen,” Achira called out to his son softly, while trying to lift his hand to gently touch Kab Kluen’s face.

    “You don’t have to say anything, Dad. Don’t say anything at all. I know what you’re going to say, so don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it. You’re going to be okay. Don’t say it, okay? The ambulance will be here soon. Just hold on a little longer.”

    “Kab Kluen, listen to me first. Don’t just cry… please stop crying.”

    Every word that came from Achira’s mouth seemed to be drawn from the last reserves of his strength—soft, hoarse, and barely audible.

    “I’m not listening. I won’t listen to anything. If you want to talk, do it when you’re better.”

    “Xing Yan, look at my son. So stubborn, isn’t he?”

    Seeing that Kab Kluen refused to listen, Achira turned to speak to He Xing Yan instead. He reached out and took the hand of his best friend, who was desperately trying to stop the bleeding. But before he could say more, Achira coughed up a massive amount of blood—causing everyone around to panic even more. Kab Kluen screamed his father's name at the top of his lungs and broke down in sobs, terrified of what was about to happen. Amidst Kab Kluen’s cries, Achira summoned all the strength he had left to speak to He Xing Yan:

    “Do you remember what we said four years ago? About letting the kids get married? Please… make it happen. Let the two of them get married. If I die, at least I can rest in peace without worrying. My son—he might be a little stubborn, but he’s really sweet and a good kid. So don’t forget what you promised—that you’d take care of my son. Love him. Treat him like your own child, like your family. If I’m no longer here… please look after Ka—”

    “No! I’m not promising you a damn thing! He’s your kid—you take care of him yourself! Don’t dump your crap on me! You’re not going to die, you hear me?!”

    He Xing Yan shouted at his friend, his voice loud and trembling as tears poured down his face. His mouth kept spitting curse after curse as he tried to stop the bleeding, but no matter how long he pressed, the blood just wouldn’t stop. And the ambulance still hadn’t arrived. He Xing Yi, who had just finished his phone call and returned, saw Achira and was immediately overwhelmed with shock. He rushed over and told He Xing Yan to move aside—he would take over and stop the bleeding himself.

    He Xing Yi pressed his hand firmly against the spot where Achira had been shot. But not long after he began, his wrist was caught by Achira’s hand, followed by a faint whisper:

    “It hurts… that’s enough now.”