Ziff’s Endearing

    ~03~

    “Mind if I check, just once or twice… tofu soup girl?”

    Ziff’s words left me in shock, my mouth dropping open in surprise.

    And he took that as an invitation to kiss me immediately. It was not like the kiss he had given me before.

    This time, his warm tongue pressed deeper, making me panic. I pounded his chest in protest. We had barely seen each other today, and we were not even dating. This was way too much!

    I struggled beneath him, our bodies brushing together as I tried to push him away. But Ziff did not budge, solid as a rock.

    A sensation rippled through my body, sending waves of heat over my skin. It was hot and overwhelming, completely out of my control.

    Finally, he pulled his lips away, leaving me breathless and dizzy, confused as to where I was or who I was.

    My hands, which had been pushing and hitting him, now clung tightly to his shirt collar. When I looked up at him, I saw his face was just as flushed, and his intense gaze made me instinctively too scared to meet his eyes.

    “L-let go of me. Just… let me go,” I started wriggling as I tried to regain my composure.

    “Stay still. Don’t move!”

    he ordered sharply, and something in his tone made me freeze.

    There was something ominous in his voice, a hint of danger that told me if I kept resisting, he might really snap and kill me here.

    But he would not let go, and the fear and confusion made my face distorted, and brought tears to my eyes.

    “Hey! Why are you crying?”

    Ziff looked alarmed, immediately reaching to brush away the tears forming at the corners of my eyes. But I turned away and bit down on his hand, hard.

    “Ow! Are you a dog or something, you plain-faced idiot.”

    Now it was Ziff’s turn to squirm.

    He yelped and wriggled, but still did not get off me. His rough fingertips grabbed my chin firmly, forcing me to release his hand.

    “That hurts…” I whimpered, flailing my legs in frustration beneath him.

    “Let me go, you creepy weirdo. Sob…” And with that, I started crying.

    I did not even know how I felt anymore. Part of me was scared, but part of me felt a strange warmth I could not describe.

    Ziff held me close, his arms around my entire body. His hands were a little smaller than my dad’s, but they felt inexplicably warmer.

    It was a completely different feeling when he ran his hand along my skin.

    “If anyone should be crying, it’s me,” he shot back, holding up his bitten hand, while his other hand quickly covered my mouth

    to keep me from screaming—or biting him again.

    “See these bite marks? Hurts like hell, you clueless girl!” Ziff complained, grabbing my chin and roughly turning my head side to side.

    I really hated him. Did he not realize just how heavy-handed he was? My chin was probably covered in his fingerprints by now.

    “Let me go, sob. I’m scared.” I protested, feeling tears welling up.

    Honestly. Right now, I was terrified he was going to force himself on me.

    Enough of this ridiculous research. If it comes to risking myself like this, I’m out, sob...

    “No forgiveness. You bit me hard enough to leave marks,” Ziff muttered with a vengeful look, still not moving from above me.

    “Please, Ziff, let me go…”

    I pleaded, freezing up when he suddenly laid his head on my chest, as if about to fall asleep.

    “I’m exhausted today… just need a moment to rest.”

    With that, Ziff went quiet, lying there without moving. He just rested against my breasts, not harassing me like I had feared.

    His steady breathing and the pale, sweaty look on his face kept me from pushing him away.

    In the end, I stayed still, letting him sleep. Once he was truly out, I could not help but reach up and gently brush his hair, almost without realizing it.

    What... am I even doing?

    Ziff murmured softly and went still again.

    Wait a minute… are we really going to stay like this until morning? This was not funny at all.

    At last, I managed to slip out from under Ziff’s body.

    From around 1:30 AM until now—6:00 AM—I had been letting him use me as a body pillow.

    Thinking about it now, I was embarrassed and annoyed with myself, so I gave both my cheeks a quick slap to regain focus.

    Ziff was still lying completely motionless. Was he even alive, how could he sleep so deeply? I wanted to check, but I was also afraid he would pin me down again, so I hesitated.

    When I finally gathered the courage, I quietly crept over to see if he was still breathing.

    He was out cold… unbelievably sound asleep.

    Taking advantage of the moment, I slipped into the bathroom. I stowed my undergarments carefully, determined not to leave them behind again.

    When I came back out, he was still fast asleep, so I went to the kitchen to make him a little something as a gesture of thanks, or something...

    The spotless kitchen gave me pause; I had no idea what to make him.

    Then, without me noticing, Ziff who had woken up at some unknown point, appeared in the kitchen doorway, his face still rumpled from sleep.

    What should I do? I had no idea how to act. Just being here made my heart race.

    Why did he make me feel like this? This was no joke.

    “Planning to burn down my room?” Ziff asked, his voice rough as he rubbed his eyes.

    “No…” I replied, trying to hide something behind me.

    “Oh really? Then what’s all this on the floor? And the table too? Is that honey? That stuff’s expensive. How’d you manage to spill it everywhere?” he said, frowning as he took in the mess.

    I glanced at the masterpiece of a mess I had made on the table before rushing to set the honey bottle upright, not even sure when I had managed to knock it over.

    “I’m counting to three, and if you didn’t answer me by then, I’d be angry.” Ziff held up three of his fingers.

    “One… ” Ziff began counting in front of me, lowering a finger with each number.

    “Two...”

    “Three...”

    “I was trying to make pancakes, but…” I confessed quickly as he stalked toward me with a stern look.

    Damn it… this guy was way too scary.

    I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself, expecting him to knock me on the head.

    Since that incident on the sofa, I could not bring myself to look directly at Ziff. Every time I saw his face, my gaze seemed to fall right to his thin lips.

    “Pancakes? Why the honey…?” he asked, planting his hands firmly on the table and staring at me unblinking.

    “I like my pancakes with honey. It tastes good.” As soon as I said this, I noticed a hint of a smile on his face.

    A smile…

    Oh god! He was scarier than that horrifying character from Scream.

    “Sit tight and stay out of my way before you burn my room down. Give me ten minutes to shower, and I’ll make them for you.” Ziff leaned in a little closer.

    He was sniffing slightly, which made my face heat up immediately.

    What is this? Am I sick or something?

    “You already showered. Smell like my soap,” he smirked before turning and walking away,

    leaving me standing there, cheeks red and heart pounding.

    Damn! Why is my heart racing just because of that? He had not even touched me, yet somehow I could feel his gaze on me, trailing over my skin.

    I crossed my arms, scowling at his retreating back.

    That arrogant jerk! Thinks he’s so handsome.

    But okay, he is pretty handsome.

    Oh no… this is bad. I’m in trouble.

    •

    We headed to campus together.

    I clutched the bag with my underwear on my lap like my life depended on it, hoping I would never have to go near Ziff’s red zone of an apartment again.

    It was no joke—being around Ziff was starting to feel like a risk to my innocence.

    And it was strange.

    Because, for some reason, Ziff the creep was in a cheerful mood after we had had breakfast together at his place.

    Turned out he had lied…

    When I asked if he liked cakes the other day, he had said he did not. But he had just devoured those pancakes with honey as if he loved them.

    Maybe he just did not want people to know he was a guy who liked sweet stuff, afraid they would tease him for it? I wanted to ask, but I held back, not wanting to dig myself into another hole.

    “Panya…”

    “Officer, help me!” I shouted, pressing myself against the car door in a panic.

    Ziff calling my name out of nowhere after we had sit in silence for some time spooked me.

    “You idiot, why did you call for the police!?” he yelled back, gripping the wheel and pulling us back on the road

    after I had startled him into veering off a little by calling for police.

    “Sob... I’m really scared. If you come any closer, I really will… I’ll really call the police on you.”

    My heart was racing as I mentally spiraled alone.

    “Go on then. Try me.” He looked at me with a mischievous grin, running his tongue along his lip.

    “Mom. Dad. Help me!” I cried loudly, which only made him laugh devilishly.

    “Officer. Please help me!”

    When we stopped at a red light, I made a move to roll down the window, ready to call out to a traffic cop on his duty, in the middle of the road.

    “Hey! What’s wrong with you?” Ziff shouted, grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

    “Sob. Let me go, you creep. Mom, sob, help me!”

    ...

    After that harrowing car ride with Ziff, I sighed in relief as I quickly sprang out of his car, ignoring his shouts calling after me.

    "Hey! Forgetting your bag, Plain Jane?”

    “I’m losing it, I’m really losing it,” I muttered, smacking my cheeks to calm down.

    When did I become so unable to look Ziff in the eye? My heart was about to explode. His expressions, his gaze—they were like a spell making me feel like I was not myself.

    I could not handle this…

    “Panya! Can I borrow the notes from the first lecture? I didn’t take any yesterday,”

    Noon, one of my classmates, called out, snapping me back to reality.

    “Notes?” I mumbled, opening my bag.

    “Whoa! Why did you bring underwear? Where are your textbooks?” Noon shrieked, staring at the item in my hand in shock.

    “Oh my god, red-hot and fiery…”

    Ahh. This is that underwear Ziff the creep bought for me!

    “Agh! I’m gonna lose my mind—wait here a sec,” I quickly closed the bag and rushed back toward the entrance of the building.

    Sure enough, Ziff’s expensive sports car was still parked out front. He got out of the car, holding my bag up in the air with a smug grin.

    “Sob! You jerk. Why didn’t you tell me I forgot my bag?” I protested, snatching it out of his hand.

    He just laughed and ruffled my hair like I was a little puppy.

    “You’ve driven me to the brink of insanity,” I muttered, swatting his hand away, and turned to go back inside.

    Then I glanced at the bag in my hand and nearly groaned out loud. How could I walk around campus all day with my bag of underwear? I slumped to the ground, squatting with a loud, pitiful sob.

    “What’s with you, Miss Bland Soup?”

    Ziff, never missing a chance to tease, crouched down beside me, tipping my forehead up to meet his gaze.

    “My friend saw my underwear, sob. I accidentally showed it to them,” I cried, pounding my fists against the chest of the guy driving me crazy.

    “Haha, seriously? You’re so dumb,”

    he burst into laughter, as expected.

    “Hey, wait. This friend—was it a guy or a girl, huh?”

    Out of nowhere, he changed the topic, gripping my shoulder and shaking me until I was dizzy.

    “A girl. Ugh, why on earth did you buy me red underwear!” I yelled, my frustration boiling over.

    I froze as I realized that students were gathering around us, on their way into the building. My face burned as if it were about to crack into a thousand pieces and fall to the ground.

    “Ha ha. Oh god, I can’t stop laughing, haha.” Ziff stood up, clutching his stomach, and laughed so loudly it echoed.

    My face turned beet red as people whispered and stared. I shoved the bag of underwear against his chest and ran inside, crying.

    “You creep, you perv, you absolute menace, sob. I hate you for real, Ziff.”

    After that, I tried to avoid Ziff… but failed.

    When I was buying cake and planning my escape, I ran into Ek, one of Ziff’s friends from the research group, who was nice enough to offer me a ride on his motorcycle to the engineering department.

    So much for that... Guess the world really was small—now I had no choice but to believe the theory.

    I followed Ek quietly, head bowed. My face red with embarrassment as we walked into the engineering building.

    I was convinced that Ziff would be smirking as soon as he saw me. All morning, I had been hiding my face in shame as I went from class to class in my department’s building,

    haunted by the memory of my embarrassing action at the entrance.

    Sob… I want to die.

    But it did not turn out as I expected.

    “Bwahahaha!”

    As soon as Ziff saw me, he burst into uncontrollable laughter.

    Everyone around us was staring, taken aback by this unusually loud side of Ziff. Meanwhile, I scowled, thinking I should not have come here.

    The longer he laughed, the more irritated I got. I was about to turn around and leave when he grabbed my arm.

    Ziff’s face was flushed, his eyes sparkling with barely-contained amusement as he tried to stifle his laughter.

    “I’m leaving. Stop making that expression!”

    “Haha, alright, I’m done laughing. Look, you brought cake, right? Come on, don’t you want my data for your research?”

    he coaxed, pulling me along with him.

    No one else knew what had happened, thank goodness. If they knew he had bought me an underwear, or about the scene outside my department this morning, just imagining it made me want to disappear with the wind like ash.

    Why did I ever ask him to buy it? What was I even thinking? Sob…

    “Sit down already. Don’t pout like that. Do you want something to drink? I’ll get it for you. I promise I won’t tease you,” Ziff said softly, leaning down to look me in the eye.

    I kept my head down, nearly tucking my chin to my chest, refusing to look at anyone. I could not even smile. My mood was totally ruined, sob…

    “Panya…” Impatient as ever, Ziff’s voice grew slightly annoyed.

    I knew he did not know how to comfort anyone, and it was surprising he even tried, considering I was usually the one clinging to him.

    Now that I thought about it… what had I been doing?

    “Sob. I can’t get over it. What happened this morning feels like a permanent scar,” I cried, my shoulders slumping in defeat.

    Ziff chuckled softly and reached over to pat my head.

    Did he think he was petting a puppy?

    “I’ll get you some cocoa. That’s what you like, right?” he asked, and I nodded.

    “And did you bring more cake?” he asked, and I nodded again.

    “Alright, I’ll be right back. Do you want anything else?”

    I shook my head, and he gave a satisfied half-smile before heading out, leaving everyone else stunned.

    “What’s up with Ziff?” someone whispered. I was not sure if he had changed that much.

    Between yesterday and today, I had seen so many different sides of Ziff. My thoughts drifted to that moment on the sofa and that intense kiss.

    My entire face flushed hot as heat gathered from all over my body. I tried fanning myself, but it was not helping with the hotness. I had no idea what was happening to me.

    Stop. Stop thinking about it right now…

    “Panya, can you hand me a screwdriver?”

    The request snapped me out of my thoughts.

    “Screwdriver? This one?”

    I asked, handing a screwdriver to one of Ziff’s teammates, doing my best to act normal.

    But it was harder than I thought.

    “Yeah, thanks. Whoa! Panya, you’ve got a nosebleed!”

    Then everything turned to chaos. My nose was bleeding...

    Panya wanted to disappear!

    Everyone started fussing over me like I was coming down with something serious, and it seemed like they were worried about something beyond just the nosebleed…

    "Great, now my shirt’s completely stained," I muttered, noticing the bright red bloodstains spreading across my shirt.

    “Lift your head a bit, Panya; it’s still bleeding,” Golf said, helping me wipe away the blood since I had not managed to clean it all myself.

    “Oh no. It even got on my bra,” I mumbled, absent-mindedly pulling my collar away to look down.

    Suddenly, I heard the clatter of cans and cups hitting the floor and realized I had just unintentionally flaunted my bra to Golf!

    I quickly tugged my collar back up. When I turned toward the noise, I saw Ziff sitting rigidly, surrounded by spilled soda cans and his cup of cocoa.

    Uh-oh, that look on his face...