Ziff's Endearing 

    ~05~

    “Hang in there,” Ziff’s voice trembled,

    and I could feel it in his hands, too.

    His whole body was shaking, and it scared me that he might lose it right here. He was already an unpredictable person.

    When he suddenly moved to carry me out of the room, I jumped.

    “Ziff, put me down,” I said, startled,

    but he did not stop or slow down one bit.

    “I’m fine, really. The water wasn’t even hot yet!” I hurried to tell him, and that finally made him pause.

    Ziff stood frozen in the middle of the room. Around us, everything seemed like it was stuck in time, as if the only moving things were the two of us.

    “What did you say?” His frown deepened, and his face twisted in a way that was genuinely frightening.

    “I... I said the water wasn’t hot. I’m fine,” I explained, bowing my head in anticipation of a Ziff-sized tornado.

    “No burns, then?”

    I quickly nodded against his chest.

    “Sigh... Good grief.” Ziff sighed, muttering something under his breath as he gently set me back down and stared at my face.

    The intensity of his glare was so piercing it almost hurt. I barely dared to breathe, terrified I would annoy him further.

    “Being around you is like living in constant fear of what disaster you’ll wander into next. Are you trying to drive me insane, Panya!?” His loud, frustrated shout made me jump back a step.

    Our friends all suddenly became part of the scenery, turning into inanimate objects that slowly edged out of Ziff’s apartment one by one. My heart sank when I realized it was now just Ziff and me alone in the middle of this suffocating, way-too-romantic-for-its-own-good atmosphere.

    “Golf…” I whimpered, hoping he would be the one person who would not run off after his friends.

    “If you call him again, I’ll make him cry for each and every time you say his name...”

    Ziff growled ominously, and Golf quickly disappeared.

    “Are you angry with me?” I asked timidly, too scared to meet his fiery gaze,

    though I had no idea why he seemed this furious.

    “Yes... Now, sit right there. On the couch. And if you so much as move, I’ll carry you to the bed...”

    he said, his voice laced with a promise that made me immediately scramble onto the couch, sitting like the most obedient doll.

    Ziff’s eyes glanced at me with a smile before turning and heading back to the kitchen to tidy up the mess I had left from cooking.

    I watched as he swiftly cleaned up the dishes, swept up the splattered mess I had made on the floor, and moved around with an ease that only added to my annoyance. Why could I not be more competent? I could never match him, with his calm, slightly brooding demeanor.

    And somehow, he always seemed to find me at exactly the right moment.

    “Call room service. The number’s on the phone table,” he instructed after finishing up in the kitchen.

    “For you?”

    “For us both…”

    Ziff disappeared into his room to shower, and I called down to order food, quietly waiting for him to come back out.

    His condo was incredible—anything you needed was just a quick call or an elevator ride away. It had to cost a fortune, and from the looks of it, there were not many other university students living here.

    I wondered just how well-off his family was, to afford a place like this. My thoughts were interrupted when he walked back out.

    We did not talk much as we ate, but several times I caught Ziff glancing at me, as though sizing me up, though he never said a word. After dinner, I began gathering our dishes, intending to take them to the kitchen, when his firm voice stopped me.

    “Leave them. I don’t want you breaking my plates.”

    I wrinkled my nose at him in annoyance. It was not long before he motioned for me to come over.

    “Come here…”

    I obediently went to him, feeling a bit like a pet answering its master’s call.

    “The water wasn’t hot, but it still left a mark, didn’t it?” he asked.

    I nodded. Even though the water was not boiling, my thigh did sting a bit from the spill.

    “Lift up your skirt then. I’ll put some ointment on it,” he said, grinning.

    And what—was I supposed to smile and do as he said, just like that?

    “You’ve turned into one perverted hunk of scrap metal, Ziff!”

    ...

    After that, I ended up quietly applying the ointment myself while Ziff moved off to work on his model soldiers, leaving us both in a silence so thick it almost felt like he was mad again.

    Sigh~ What does it take to keep this guy from getting grumpy? I felt defeated.

    “Are you mad at me again?” I asked quietly, doing my best to stay put on the sofa as he had ordered.

    “Why are you so moody, anyway?”

    "...”

    I asked again when he did not answer.

    “Hey!”

    Oh… Ziff had fallen asleep.

    Turning around, I saw him lying on the floor, his head propped on his arm, facing me. Miniature model pieces covered his chest, waiting to be assembled.

    I could not help but smile. Moving carefully, I slid down from the sofa and went to his side.

     His face was so relaxed and innocent, almost like a little kid. I lay on my stomach next to him, propping myself up on my elbows and watching him in silence. Eventually, I turned onto my back, picked up a piece of his model, and started assembling it for him.

    Sometimes, it felt really nice to just sit quietly and listen to someone breathing beside you.

    I turned to look at him again, only to realize that his nose was just a whisper away from my forehead.

    Strangely, it felt comforting to be so close. Reaching out, I brushed a few stray hairs from his face, and in a low voice, I whispered,

    “Goodnight, you heartless scrap metal…”

    .

    It was another day where I found myself delivering offerings to Ziff and his engineering friends.

    Since the day I almost (according to Ziff) scalded myself with hot water, I had been under strict orders—no picking things up, no wandering about under Ziff’s strict command.

    Sometimes, I could not help but wonder why Ziff cared so much.

    Was it genuine concern?

    Or was he just afraid he would not find another quiet, crazy, agreeable guinea pig like me?

    Anyway, overthinking would only hurt my head.

    I would do my best to carry on as normally as possible.

    “That’ll be five hundred and fifty baht...” said the sweet voice of the cake shop lady. I handed her the money and picked up the bag.

    My plan was to bring this to the engineering research team. Was there not some saying about men not liking sweets? These guys loved cakes and treats.

    “Wow, you bought a lot. Treating friends?” the cake shop owner asked, and I grinned wide.

    “Yeah, the guys eat a ton, so I have to get a lot,” I laughed.

    “The guys, you mean Ziff and his friends?”

    “Yes, Ziff and his friend,” I answered before jumping, the one who had just asked me was not the cake shop owner.

    I turned toward the source in curiosity and had to pursed my lips when I saw who it was

    —Susie...

    Seeing her brought the memory of that awful photos back to mind. Ziff had said he would take care of it, and not to worry. But now she was right here in front of me, stirring up every anxious feeling.

    “Didn’t you get enough last time?” Susie’s high-pitched voice cut through the air, and before I knew it, she was splashing a bottle of water in my face.

    “Not cold enough last time, huh? Maybe hot water would peel off that thick face of yours, piece by piece.”

    I raised my hand to wipe my dripping face as whispers of onlookers buzzed around me. Only the cake shop owner rushed to my side, handing me a towel.

    “Are you ok, Pan?”

    I nodded, keeping my head low, my face heating with the fear that I might actually cry again.

    “I should slap you again, or maybe this time a good kick will do. Stay away from Ziff. Is that too complicated for you!”

    “Miss. You look decent enough; why are you so nasty? Shouldn’t you talk this out with the guy instead of harming other people like a villainess in some cheap drama?” the cake shop owner retorted on my behalf, but that only added fuel to the fire.

    Susie’s face twisted with anger as she leapt toward me, looking ready to hit me again, leaving a nail mark just like last time.

    “Touch Panya once more, and I swear I’ll punch you right back.”

    The calm, steely voice of a man stopped her in her tracks. I turned along with the crowd of onlookers to see a man walking toward us.

    “Ziff…” Susie and I both said his name softly, nearly in unison.

    Without a word, Ziff unbuttoned a few buttons of his engineering jacket, then draped it around my shoulders.

    “So, you’re the one who splashed water and hurt Panya last time,” Ziff said coldly, locking eyes with Susie, who was now clenching her fists as she glared at me, eyes flashing.

    "So what if I did?"

    Susie lifted her chin defiantly, refusing to look away from Ziff’s intense glare. Honestly, it was pretty bold of her.

    "Go to hell… just stay away from her, got it?"

    Ziff’s harsh word froze the entire crowd, silencing everyone in earshot.

    “Ziff, how can you say that? You and I used to…”

    “If you want to publicly shame yourself, go ahead. Make a scene. I couldn’t care less, I don’t know about you though,” Ziff interrupted sharply, pulling me closer so that his nose brushed against my hair.

    "Look at her closely. Stay away from her, or your life will be nothing but misery and fear.”

    “You’re threatening me, Ziff!”

    “I’m not threatening. I’m just giving you a kind heads-up. Come on, Pan. It’s late.

    Without another glance at the commotion, he pulled me away,

    while I only managed a quick, thankful smile to the cake shop owner.

    On the way out, he even brushed Susie's shoulder on purpose, making her stumble.

    There was plenty of room to avoid her…

    Ziff was such a…

    "Didn’t I tell you? Don’t let anyone touch you but me."

    Ziff lifted my hair gently and pressed a bandage over the scratches on my neck, applying it with care.

    "The only thing I ask of you, is that you don’t get hurt. Don’t let anything happen to you. Don’t make me worry, understand?” The intensity in his eyes left me nodding without a word.

     His stare was unnerving.

    "And don’t stress over that woman. There’s nothing between us; you can rest assured," he added, his tone carrying a reassuring strength that sent a flutter through me.

    I did not want to assume things, but...

    I could not help wondering, what was this thing between us

    —was I really someone he genuinely cared about? Someone who mattered to him, more than anyone he had dated before?

    There were so many things I wished to hear from his mouth.

    But I kept them to myself, not wanting to make things more complicated, awkward.

    Better to let things flow at their own pace.

    After all, we were both bound by this research project, something so significant and delicate that it was stressful for both of us.

    Maybe, if time went on and he still did not change, I could believe I mattered to him. And that he mattered to me, too.

    Right...?

    “What are you staring at me like that for?” Ziff’s voice broke into my thoughts, a frown appearing on his face.

    “Huh!? Oh. I didn’t even realize I was…” I trailed off with my random excuse, scratching my neck and quickly looking away.

    He seemed confused but did not press me further, just grabbed the cake bag from my hand.

    That alone left me looking at him in surprise.

    "I can carry that myself," I told him. Usually, it was just me handling everything without waiting for help.

    Especially not from him. For Ziff, it was usually more like, making me carry this or do that. It amused him to treat me like a little pack mule.

    “What’s with that face? Am I such a horrible jerk that it seem so shocking that I carry something for a girl?” he asked flatly, though his expression remained intimidating.

    Ugh... He really could not keep up with his gentle guy act.

    “Nothing,” I denied weakly, bowing my head.

    Without a word, Ziff started to dry my hair, which was still damp from Susie’s little scene.

    “Oh, and after we wrap things up today, come eat with us. It’s Ek’s birthday.”

    "Really? What kind of gift should I prepare?" I said, a bit surprised to hear that—it was not like Ek had not been kind to me.

    "Don’t worry. My gift counts as your gift too."

    "What do you mean, Ziff?"

    “...”

    He did not answer, just smirked in that frightening way of his.

    Uh-oh...

    .

    Right now, I felt like strangling Ziff to death with my bare hands.

    I swear, if I could just twist his neck or maybe cut his head off—I fell right for that deceptively sweet smile of his, and now it felt like I was living in some kind of hell.

    Remember the gift he mentioned earlier? Turns out, Ziff signed my name on Ek’s birthday card

    along with a box full of co…

    Condoms. Just condoms! Sob... I wanted to crawl under a rock.

    "This is really from both of you, Seriously!?" Ek exclaimed, holding up the gift and waving it around the barbecue restaurant for everyone to see.

    "No, sob..." I cried, burying my face into my arms at the table.

    I hated Ziff, hated him the most, wah.

    I did not even want to lift my head, let alone look at anyone else in the room. Evil, absolute evil!

    "Hey. You’ll burn your hair—you’re leaning too close to the grill, you dimwit!" Ziff scolded, tugging my collar up just enough to pull me up. He then laughed and carried on with his friends, completely ignoring my mortification.

    Seriously, who gives something like that as a birthday gift?

    I would love to dissect his brain and figure out how he even thought of it. Eventually, though, everyone stopped teasing me, so I managed to join in on the conversations a little more easily.

    You know, hanging out with Ziff and the others like this was actually pretty fun.

    Wait, what was I thinking? I really needed to focus.

    Later, Ziff got drunk...

    Ek had to drag him back to his room, leaving me alone with this towering, stubborn drunk.

    “Wait, no, don’t just leave me here. Drop me off at my apartment.” I called out, but Ek just smiled, waved, and disappeared.

    Heartless…

    "What a mess…"

    I muttered to myself before jolting in shock when Ziff, who had been completely out of it moments ago, suddenly woke up and hugged me from behind, molesting me.

    "Ahh. Ziff, what are you doing." I shrieked as he buried his nose at my temple, letting it drift down toward my neck.

    My entire body broke out in chills, and I tried to push him away, but he was so strong, holding me firmly. His hot hand slipped under my skirt, moving up my thigh so quickly that I could barely react.

    Ah... this prick!

    I struggled, could not get away. We fell to the carpeted floor, and Ziff’s tall, broad frame pressed down against mine, every inch of him close.

    Just as I opened my mouth to scream again, he silenced me with his lips.

    I let out muffled protests, feeling his hands roam over me, heat radiating through my body, making my head spin.

    His tongue invaded my mouth, making me choke on my own breath. I felt my heart race with a faint, as if I was about to pass out. My skin burned like I had a fever, my whole body frozen, I had forgotten how to move entirely.

    The strange sensation washed over me, prickling through to my fingertips.

    I could not breath while my heart pounded wildly. I thought I might die from lack of air with each kiss, each shift of his mouth.

    Finally, the brute drew back slowly, ending the kiss unhurriedly.

    "I think about you every day, every single moment. How do you do that?" He whispered, barely pulling his lips away, leaving them still close enough to brush against mine as he spoke.

    His words moved my lips along with his, as his hand carefully stroked my cheek, sensing the shiver that ran through me. He pushed back my hair, brushing every stray strand out of my face.

    “Kiss me… you plain Jane.”

    “No, Ziff, y-you’re drunk. You’ll definitely regret this later, ju… just, please let me go.”

    But as I said it, we somehow shared brief, soft kisses in between because his lips were so close to mine. The bitter smell of beer on his breath nearly intoxicated me.

    “Why would I? Letting go of someone with a C-70 cup would be the stupidest thing I could do, plain ol’ Panya.” 

    Gah! This guy’s a real creep.