Chapter 10

Scar

The image of Zhang Chengyi and the mysterious woman continued to haunt Phapfun's mind. From the moment the young doctor left until Zhang Chengyi returned from the company and had the driver take Kanda home as usual, Phapfun couldn't shake off the bad thoughts. The two sat down to eat with contrasting moods. Phapfun poked at the rice on his plate, feeling uneasy, not even touching his favorite dessert that his aunt had prepared. Meanwhile, Zhang Chengyi, sitting across from him, easily noticed the young omega's demeanor.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, because normally, despite preferring sweets over savory dishes, Phapfun had a healthy appetite typical of someone pregnant. But today, he seemed different.

Plump lips pressed together in decision, torn between fear of the answer and an overwhelming curiosity about who the mysterious woman was. Phapfun swallowed the grains of rice with difficulty, intending to shake his head in denial. Yet, for a fleeting moment, something compelled him to ask, unable to leave the matter unresolved.

"Mr. Zhang... have you ever been married?"

Clang!

The question from the mother of his child made Zhang Chengyi put his spoon down on the plate with a force that was not gentle. The sound of the spoon hitting the porcelain plate was so loud that the person who asked the question flinched. Round eyes glanced up at the person across from him with uncertainty. Just seeing the fierce look in his eyes was enough to drain his strength with fear. The alpha aura that had been dormant since the pregnancy began to exert its influence once more.

"Say whatever you want to say."

The commanding voice, coupled with the alpha aura, made Phapfun tremble like a drenched chick. Yet, with courage from an unknown source, he blurted out.

"I saw a picture of a woman with Mr. Zhang in a wedding dress. I... who is she?" The tone of his voice when asking about the status of the mysterious woman was so faint it was barely audible, much like his heart, which was terrified of the answer.

"Do you really need to know, Fun?" Chengyi asked in a calm voice.

The fire in the young alpha's eyes burned with intense emotion. Everyone in the Zhang Family and those around him knew that the name Lin Meiling, the woman Phapfun asked about, was a forbidden topic for Zhang Chengyi. The fierce tone left the questioned person silent, heart pounding with fear.

"Does your status really require you to know that much, Fun?" The angry person continued to spit hurtful words. The anger made Zhang Chengyi not even glance at the fact that the reason Phapfan didn't answer the question was because tears were flowing down his face, staining his full lips. Only the sound of suppressed sobs escaped his throat.

"Ugh."

"I don't think it's necessary at all."

With those words, the tall figure rose from the table. Tonight, he might have to ask the driver to bring Kanda back to watch over his nephew. He couldn't stay here tonight. Zhang Chengyi felt a sense of disappointment without knowing why. Had he valued Phapfun too much, allowing him to cross into matters he disliked and didn't want to hear about?

But Zhang Chengyi seemed to forget that Phapfun had never known that Lin Meiling was a forbidden topic. He never knew how important she was to him in every aspect. Phapfun had never known...

Eyes filled with tears watched the broad back. Despite the tear-stained face, it was strange that there was no sound of sobbing. Two hands slowly gathered the dishes, intending to put them away. However, when his palm touched his rounded belly, Phapfun had to sit down again. He slowly spooned food into his mouth, tears streaming, before wiping them away forcefully.

He shouldn't be upset with Zhang Chengyi. Did his status really give him the right to be angry or resentful towards his employer? It wasn't surprising that Zhang Chengyi was angry because he had crossed the line. Even if the woman in the picture was truly the other's wife, and he was the mistress as he feared, he had no right to feel hurt. A rough hand gently caressed his rounded belly, forcing a smile as if he was trying not to think about it.

"Mom..." The word he was about to utter faltered before he slowly spoke again with a changed pronoun. "I'm going to eat a lot so the little master will be strong. From now on, I won't care about anything else. My duty is to make sure the little master is born healthy and strong... okay?"

Phapfun was determined to sincerely apologize to Zhang Chengyi if he returned, along with expressing that he truly understood his own status deeply now.

Zhang Chengyi hadn't gone far. He found himself at the luxurious condo of his close friend, Zhao Ruyan, which wasn't far from his own. The tall figure sat cross-legged on a wooden chair with a hardened expression, causing even his close friend to swallow nervously, feeling a chill down his spine.

"Mr. Phapfun must have seen the picture on my iPad," Zhao Ruyan tapped his forehead. He glanced at Zhang Chengyi, who seemed to be waiting for an explanation, and continued, "I was reminiscing about the past and opened some old photos. I went to the bathroom for just a moment and didn't expect Mr. Phapfun to see them."

"What made you decide to look at them?" Zhang Chengyi asked, his voice calm but tinged with displeasure.

"Well, today is the anniversary..." Zhao Ruyan sighed at his friend's expression. "Sorry, Chengyi, for causing trouble between you and Mr. Phapfun."

"Forget it," he dismissed.

The remorseful look on his friend's face made Chengyi unable to stay angry. As he reflected on the situation, he began to calm down. He started questioning why he felt so upset with Phapfun. True, his ex-wife was a forbidden topic, but he realized Phapfun was unaware of it. Perhaps it was because when he was with Phapfun, the other man was his comfort, like a refuge from the heavy burdens and exhaustion. Seeing Phapfun's bright face and the scent of creamy milk strangely eased his worries, clearing his mind completely. But the moment Phapfun intruded into the painful space... Chengyi felt disappointed.

"You should be more patient with Mr. Phapfun," the young doctor advised. "Pregnant people can be a bit sensitive."

The words from his doctor friend helped Zhang Chengyi calm down a little more. Though his anger still simmered, he recalled the tears on the omega's face and felt a pang of guilt. His harsh words to Phapfun were like pouring poison on a fragile plant. The tall man stood up from his chair.

"Never mind, I'm heading back."

Zhao Ruyan stood up as well, reaching out to grasp his broad shoulder. "Are you sure? If you're going to say something hurtful to a pregnant person, you might as well stay here."

"I'm sure of my feelings and thoughts now. Otherwise, I wouldn't consider going back." He brushed his friend's hand off his shoulder, ready to head towards the exit. But the earnest question stopped him in his tracks.

"Do you still think about Meiling…? It's been years now."

"I've never forgotten her."

Zhang Chengyi spoke with firm conviction, recalling his ex-wife with a smile on his face, yet his eyes reflected pain and regret. Who could forget someone who died because of them?

The president of Zhang Chan Group called his driver to cancel picking up Kanda. He returned to his condo, feeling a mix of emotions after spending several hours calming down at his close friend's place. The sound of people talking on the TV echoed as usual. His sharp eyes fell on the omega's milk-scented back, and his heart sank. He couldn't understand why it seemed so lonely.

"Phapfun..." he accidentally called out.

"You're back, Mr. Zhang?"

The owner of the name turned slowly to look at him, smiling as usual, greeting him as if nothing had happened hours ago. But Chengyi knew something was different. The large, round eyes didn't sparkle like they usually did when he saw him.

"Yes."

A strange tug at his heart left Chengyi feeling unsure. He sat down next to Phapfun in the same spot as before. The room was silent except for the chatter from the giant TV screen, but for Zhang Chengyi, it felt like a resonant echo. Without the TV's noise, they would have heard the clock ticking slowly. They sat in silence for an unknown length of time until the TV went silent, and Chengyi saw Phapfun preparing to leave.

"Fun."

He unconsciously reached out to grab the pale arm, certain that Phapfun was preparing to go to bed. What he couldn't understand was why tonight was devoid of the usual goodnight wishes or the playful coaxing to join him in bed as every other night. Phapfun seemed like a doll that moved according to the pull of another person. He sat down without resistance as Zhang Chengyi gently tugged him.

"Are you mad?"

"What right did I have to be mad at Mr. Zhang?" The pregnant man spoke casually, as if he wasn't thinking about anything. Zhang Chengyi was stunned upon hearing this. He might have been annoyed or perhaps felt better if Phapfun's demeanor had shown signs of sarcasm, unlike now, where he seemed to surrender to everything.

"I ask Mr. Zhang because I’m curious... I admit I'm scared if I have to be someone else's mistress," his voice trembled, but his face remained smiling. "But now I understand that even if I were truly Mr. Zhang's mistress, I wouldn't have the right to feel anything anyway. Because my status is someone hired to carry the Zhang Family's heir, while Mr. Zhang is the employer..."

"Her name is Lin Meiling!" Chengyi blurted out loudly, as if he didn't want to hear any more hurtful words from Phapfun. "She was my ex-wife... but now she's gone."

"Yes, Mr. Zhang."

However, Phapfun simply acknowledged the words, showing no interest or even asking where she had gone. When he said he understood his own status, he truly meant it, without any intention of being sarcastic towards Zhang Chengyi. Phapfun was just Phapfun; the happiness he once experienced was all an illusion.

"Phapfun..." a deep voice murmured softly. He should have felt at ease with that demeanor, but for some reason, his feelings reverted to the day he first met Phapfun. They started their relationship from zero, and now it seemed to be in the negatives.

"Tonight, I'd like to sleep in my own room," Phapfun smiled as he requested permission from his employer, lightly brushing his lips against the rough cheek. "Goodnight, Mr. Zhang."

Zhang Chengyi didn't even have the chance to say anything to stop him, or perhaps he was too drained to utter a word. Everything seemed normal, as if nothing had ever happened before. Phapfun wished him goodnight as he did every night but asked to sleep in his own room, despite being so attached to his scent. The young alpha laughed through his throat, a laugh that was undeniably dry. Phapfun was resisting him, yes... he thought so. But something was warning him that it might be worse than he had anticipated.

The young Thai-Chinese man stood up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, opening it and taking a swig straight from the bottle, ignoring the usual neatness of pouring it into a glass. It had been a long time since he used alcohol to suppress his overwhelming emotions, but now he felt an intense urge to use its heat to extinguish the turmoil within his heart. Something was making him fearful, and Chengyi couldn't deny that it was the love and attachment he felt. Phapfun had such a profound influence on his emotions!

Meanwhile, in the cold bedroom, Phapfun lay curled up under the thick, soft blanket, struggling to fall asleep. His arms clung tightly to a shirt saturated with the scent of the young alpha. He comforted himself with the thought that once he gave birth to the twins, his habit of clinging to Zhang Chengyi's scent might disappear. He prayed for it to be so...

Otherwise, the one who would suffer would inevitably be himself.

Zhang Chengyi and Phapfun continued their relationship as usual, so much so that Zhang Chengyi felt confused. The only thing that had changed was that Phapfun often returned to sleep in his own room. It was the young alpha himself who found it difficult to sleep, but he knew it was due to his own impatience. At least Phapfun still treated him with the same sweetness as before, which was somewhat reassuring. However, Zhang Chengyi was unaware that his words had left a deep, lasting wound in Phapfun's heart.