4

    Toop clearly intended to oppose his mother’s suggestion, but her sweet yet firm tone left no room for argument. That was how I ended up with him on a boat heading to an island after an hour of riding the plane. Originally, the place I wanted to visit was not the southern coast.

    ’Where do you want to go?’

    He had asked me that day during the car ride home.

    ’I’d like to visit the North.’

    He nodded.

    ’But I want to head South. Get ready.’

    If he had decided on the South from the beginning, why ask me just to make me feel bad? All week, the same question kept circling my mind—did Toop deliberately go against any place I wanted to visit just to pick somewhere else? Still, all I could do was stay silent and cooperate.

    “How much longer until we get there?”

    His slightly irritated voice snapped me out of my thoughts as he asked the boatman.

    “We’re almost there, sir.”

    Toop nodded, lowering his black sunglasses slightly.

    “Is that the island?”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “What’s it called?”

    Toop muttered the question, and I could not help echoing it quietly. I had assumed we would be staying at a hotel in the city or a private resort suitable for someone of his celebrity status. Perhaps the island chosen by his parents was well-equipped and private, the perfect retreat for a trip like this, even though I did not know what island it was.

    “Why is it so quiet? Where’s the staff? Where’s the accommodation?”

    As soon as we arrived, the island felt peaceful, almost deserted, though the beautiful sandy beach tempted me to take off my shoes. Toop, however, seemed ready to start complaining at any moment.

    “Walk a little further, and there’s a guesthouse, sir.”

    “Walk?!”

    The man smiled politely, placing our bags on the beach.

    “Here’s your luggage. I’ll just go check on the boat for a bit.”

    “Hey!”

    “Mr. Toop.” I quickly grabbed his arm, both of us in matching long-sleeved shirts. “Calm down. Let’s wait for that brother to come back, and we can ask him again.”

    “You just talked to him for a second, and now you’re calling him brother? Seriously?”

    My intention to calm him faltered at his spoiled expression and demanding gaze. Not knowing what would please him, I slowly let go of his arm.

    “If you don’t like it, I won’t do it again.”

    “Anshan, you’re so— Hey! Where’s he taking the boat!”

    Startled by Toop’s sudden shout, I glanced up.

    “Ah. Brother—uh, sir. Wait!”

    “Apologies, sir. This was an order from your parents. I’ll be back to pick you up in three days!”

    “This! Damn it!”

    The boat sped away,

    leaving Toop and me stranded. He was following the ‘parents’ order, which could not be no one else but,

    “Your father and mother.”

    “Exactly! Who else would come up with this plan to leave us stranded on an island like this? Damn it!”

    I opened my mouth to call him, but Toop was already kicking the seawater in frustration, splashing it into my face and making me shut my eyes. This was Toop Pasutha, my husband of three months. Our time together had been minimal, and this was how things stood—spoiled, loud, and unwilling to listen to anyone. It was the complete opposite of the composed man he portrayed on camera.

    “What do you think you’re doing?”

    I had planned to pick up my suitcase quietly without talking to him, but being alone with him here meant he would not stop if I remained silent.

    “I’m taking the luggage to the guesthouse.”

    “Huh?! You seriously plan to stay on this deserted island?”

    I tightened my grip on the suitcase handle.

    “Do you have a better idea, Mr. Toop?”

    He fell silent.

    “Can you manage the bags yourself? If not, I’ll carry them so we can get moving.”

    He looked like he was about to unleash his frustration, but I did not wait to hear it. I grabbed all the bags and started walking. However, I had not taken more than a few steps before both bags were snatched from my hands.

    “You’re this small and still trying to act tough.”

    “I—”

    I did not want him to carry the heavy bags. Being a meticulous celebrity who grew up in a wealthy family, he might not be used to handling such things. Yet there he was, marching ahead with the large bags, his stern face unrelenting. Though exasperated, I could not help but smile faintly at my husband’s retreating figure.

    After a ten-minute walk, we arrived at a modest wooden house perched on a small hill. It was compact yet fully equipped, with a generator providing electricity. The bedroom featured one bed placed near a glass window facing east, perfect for enjoying the morning sunlight.

    Stepping out of the bedroom, there was a small kitchen counter and a cozy living area, cleverly arranged to make the most of the limited space. My favorite part, though, was the large glass door at the front of the house. Opening it revealed a breathtaking view of the sea and a small sitting area outside. It felt almost like a paradise island, though deserted except for me and Toop.

    “You think having a place to stay makes things better? There’s not even a mobile signal here!”

    He seemed to dislike everything. After dropping the bags inside, he had gone searching for a signal, wandering all the way to the beach behind the house on the hill. Besides the generator powering the house, I had not seen any other signs of civilization around.

    “The water’s so clear,”

    I murmured to myself, as I followed him without him noticing.

    I had just mumbled softly and smiled as the waves lapped at my ankles.

    “Clear water?”

    “Uh—”

    “I’m asking seriously, Anshan.”

    He, who had been fuming over the lack of signal, turned toward me and stepped closer.

    “Let me ask you something as your husband, dear wife. We’ve been dumped on this deserted island with absolutely nothing, and you still have the mood to admire the birds, the water, and the sky!”

    Maybe I should have just stayed quiet, so that he would not vent his frustrations by yelling at me like this. Was it so wrong of me to try to find something good around us, even after being stranded here, not throwing a fit like he did.

    “Why? What are you thinking? How do you feel? Just say it. Or are you happy, enjoying being left here? Of course, you’d want this. You want to be near me, to spend time with me, don’t you, dear wife!”

    After another sarcastic remark, he sneered. Annoyed and dissatisfied, he seemed to expect me to stand there and take it all. Was it so wrong for me, as his wife—though I never wanted this role, I was a man—to want to spend a little time with him each day? Despite his parents arranging this place for us.

    “Instead of relaxing comfortably in a hotel, I’m stuck on this godforsaken island.”

    “Isn’t there anything good about it?”

    “What did you say?”

    Looking down at the sea lapping at my ankles, the evening breeze brushing against my skin. After enduring for a long time, I finally raised my gaze to meet his, despite his growing irritation.

    “I asked you, isn’t there anything good about this place?”

    He snorted and sneered, though his sharp eyes remained cold.

    “What am I supposed to enjoy here, Anshan? There’s nothing but a house and the sea—no lights, no attractions, nothing convenient or relaxing!”

    “But we have us here!”

    I clenched my fists and pressed my lips tightly together, my gaze trembling as I looked at him.

    “You said it yourself—if I think or feel something, I should say it, right?”

    I took a deep breath before continuing.

    “Fine. Today, I’ll speak. I’ll tell you everything I’ve been holding inside!”

    “You…”

    “Quiet!”

    His eyes widened in shock as I snapped at him. For too long, he had been loud, irritable, and dismissive, throwing cutting remarks my way. Not to mention his behavior—so contrary to the polite, nature-loving leading man he portrayed on screen.

    I had had enough of Toop Pasutha’s selfishness.

    “This is all because of you. I know you don’t love me and don’t want someone like me. But isn’t that exactly why we’re here? I can guess—it’s because your parents want us to get along. But no matter what, I know you’ll never feel anything for me. Since we got here, all you’ve done is complain, lash out, and take your frustrations out on me. You’re such a terrible husband. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to find joy in what little there is. Why can’t you do the same? Can’t you try to be less selfish and look at me—pay a little attention to me? Right now, it’s just us here. Just me, your wife, and the child you said you wanted. During this time, I’d like to know what I need to do to make you care—to make you love me!”

    “Anshan.”

    “Yes! My name is Anshan, and I’ve said my piece. Now you—” I pointed a finger at him. “If you have something to say, say it all, because I’ve had enough of putting up with you, Mr. Toop!”

    “And who asked you to put up with me!”

    I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out, just like how he could not react earlier.

    Was this his answer? The response from the man who was supposed to be my husband?

    “When did I ever say you had to endure being married to me? When did I ever tell you how you’re supposed to act? In the three months we’ve been married, what have you done besides stay quiet and look miserable all the time, like you’re on the verge of tears? Tell me, Anshan—don’t you feel stifled, frustrated, or even annoyed with yourself for acting that way!”

    “Because I wanted you to feel good about me. I wanted you to love me, so I tried to act that way!”

    “Acting that way means not being yourself—pretending to be quiet and proper, holding everything inside instead of speaking honestly, didn’t you? Damn it! You idiot. Where did you get such a ridiculous idea? Is there anyone in the world more stupid than you, Anshan!”

    “Mr. Toop!”

    “Yeah! I’m Toop Pasutha—the guy who acts as random people in front of the camera every day. But when I come home, I have to face you, a wife who’s pretending to be someone else! Who would love that? Who could ever feel at ease with that!”

    “Well, if you knew from the start what I was like, why didn’t you say so? If you didn’t like it, you should have told me instead of being irritated and saying mean things. You drag me to bed whenever you want. I married you to be your wife, not to be your outlet!”

    I was exhausted—so, so tired. Tears threatened to fall right then and there.

    Even so, no matter how tightly I clenched my fists, there was still a strange sense of relief inside me.

    Whether he hated me or did not love me at all, it did not matter anymore. I had reached my limit. How had I endured months of living with someone like this?

    “That’s right. I married you because I wanted a family—not to see my wife acting miserable, never being himself, like you.”

    “So, you’re saying that if I were myself, you’d notice me? You’d love me?”

    As I opened my mouth to respond, he fell silent, leaving me trembling with anger, my fists clenched tightly.

    “Answer me, Mr. Toop!”

    “It’s better than being married without being honest with each other.”

    His reply was quieter, not answering my question directly. He avoided looking at me. He wanted me to be myself, not play the obedient, quiet type, did he not? Fine.

    “What the hell are you doing, Anshan!”

    “I’m being myself, just like you wanted. I’m being the Anshan I was back at the countryside house—the one who gives back what he gets. You splashed me with water earlier, you selfish jerk. You’re a terrible husband!”

    I lashed out, hurling every insult I could think of. Tears I had tried so hard to hold back spilled freely as I kicked at the salty sea water, splashing it on both him and myself.

    “Stop it, Anshan. I said stop, you fool!”

    “Let go of my leg!”

    I struggled to free my ankle from his grip, nearly losing my balance.

    “Let go, you terrible person. You’re the one who wanted me to be myself, aren’t you? So why are you grabbing my leg? What are you—Whoa! What are you doing!”

    He let out a snort and a sly smile spread across his face as he held my leg firmly.

    With no warning, he scooped me up, ignoring the fists I pounded against him.

    “Do you think you’re the only one who gets to be yourself, throwing tantrums and acting out? You’re good at putting on a show, great at getting back at people, aren’t you? Let’s see how far you can go with that, Mr. Payback!”

    “Ah. What are you doing? Why are you walking into the sea? Stop! Don’t do anything crazy!”