Chapter 24 Lost, just by the touch on the hand

    As soon as Bai Hua left Jiu Yu residence, the coldness that Bai Yu displayed in front of her half-sister disappeared. A drop of tear fell as she crumbled onto the floor.

    She knew it was wrong to vent her anger on Bai Hua. She knew full well that Bai Hua was not the same person as that Song Lianhua. But still, those innocent, pretty faces that were identical made it impossible for her to endure.

    In her last life, she was a world-class villainess. But what villainous thing did she do?

    In this life, she was born a villainess. But what evil had she committed?

    Violent. Unreasonable. Impatient. Stubborn.

    Today, Bai Yu had committed them. Eventually, she became the true villainess. She laughed at herself even with tears streaking her face. She was not a good person, and she never proclaimed herself as one. If what happened today made her even more villainous, then she did not care.

    “Don’t let mother know about what happened between me and Bai Hua today.” After wiping away her tears, she calmly gave an order.

    Xiao Xi nodded in acquiescence. She and Xiao Chang saw everything from the beginning to the end. Xiao Xi was the one who drove other maids out, even though what she actually wanted to do was to inform first Furen how the third miss came and made her first miss cry. But she was stopped by Xiao Chang. The newly appointed maid could see that Bai Yu’s tears were not from sadness, but merely an outlet for her emotions.

    “Would you like to take a bath, miss?” It was Xiao Chang who tried to change the topic.

    “Xiao Xi, prepare my meal.”

    “Yes, miss.” The little maid immediately ran out.

    “And you…” Bai Yu turned to Xiao Chang. She gave her a money ticket as she whispered an order. The maid nodded before taking a trusted male servant and leaving the mansion.

    She wanted to send a ‘Thank you’ gift to someone.

    “Haaahh”

    When her two maids were gone, Bai Yu slowly pushed herself up. But no matter how much she tried, she only felt that this body was too heavy, that her arms could not carry its weight. In the end, Bai Yu had to give up and sit back down.

    Her tears started flowing again. She told herself that it was enough, that she had vented her emotions enough, that she should stand up and continue living again. Because of the pain she had experienced in her past life, there was no longer a sense of weakness for her to feel anymore. Still, the weight that exceeded her strength made Bai Yu unable to use her arms to get up. She could not carry the weight of all these emotions, after all.

    “Yu-er”

    A gentle voice sounded the same time as a warm embrace took over her. Her mother’s soft hand stroked her hair. It was a touch that let out all the tears she had been withholding and made them unstoppably flow almost throughout the night.

    Yue Mei hugged her daughter who was the apple of her eyes. She felt her heart break when she saw the face that she had always cherished streaked with tears. Her darling daughter’s beautiful eyes were filled with pain and confusion. Yue Mei did not know what she had gone through, but she knew how useless she felt for not being able to protect her daughter from it. As a mother, the most she could do was to sleep beside her and hug her like when Bai Yu was an infant who only knew how to cry.

    That night, Bai Yu fell asleep in her mother’s arms that she had not felt for more than ten years.

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    “Going to stay at your grandfather’s?”

    “That’s right, mother.”

    “What’re you going to do there? It was no different from a barrack.”

    “I want to practice martial arts.”

    “You’re a woman. Your duty is to give birth to a son and continue the bloodline. What do you need martial arts for?” The more she listened, the more Yue Mei disagreed with her daughter’s request.

    “In case that one day my duty is not just to give birth to a son, mother.”

    “Nonsense!”

    “Mother…” She decided to use a begging tone after failing to convince Yue Mei. As for Yue Mei, her daughter who she had been consoling all night woke up the next morning and suddenly asked to go train martial arts at the mansion of her grandfather, general Yue.

    The request was brought up to her for two full days. No matter how many times she refused, her daughter would pester her again and again. These two days Yue Mei did not know what to do to dissuade her daughter from the idea. She even sent a magic messenger to ask for help from Bai He, but she had yet to receive a reply. Still, she was not even sure if the doting brother could stop his sister.

    “Mother, all along, no matter what you teach me I always learn without any objection. This is the first time I’m making a request. Can’t mother allow me this one time?”

    “I…” Before she could refuse for the third time. Her daughter’s tear-streaked face appeared in Yue Mei’s mind. At that time, her Yu-er was so weak and fragile. She could not help if her daughter revealed nothing, but if she let her do as she wanted…will this be considered helping?

    “Never go near the soldiers.”

    “Yes, mother.”

    “Never train alone. You must only train when you’re with your grandfather or under Shifu’s* guidance.”

    “Yes, mother.”

    “Never let yourself be bruised. If I see even a tiniest wound on your face, I’ll forbid you from training immediately.”

    “Yes, mother.”

    “You must also practice your guqin as well.”

    “Yes, mother.”

    “You must—“

    “Yes, mother.”

    “I haven’t said anything yet!”

    “Yes, mother!” Bai Yu hugged her mother’s waist. She nuzzled her face against the shoulder that she had cried on several nights ago. The smiles on both the mother and daughter made the newcomer also smile in response.

    “What’re you talking about? Can I join?”

    “Greetings to father.” Bai Yu stood up and curtsied.

    “Is something the matter, Furen?” After receiving a curtsy from his daughter, Bai Han who had just come back from the morning meeting joined in on the conversation. He received a teacup from Bai Yu to drink, feeling especially refreshed. It was not often for Bai Yu to act this way toward him. Lately, she had been unusually sweet.

    “I’m going to tell you that I’m sending our Yu-er to stay at father’s place.” Her mother initially disagreed, but when her father appeared, she did the persuasion for her. Bai Yu concealed a smile for her success this time.

    “Going to the Yue mansion? What is Yu-er going to do there?”

    “To visit—”

    “To practice martial arts!” Bai Yu intentionally interrupted her mother before she could lie. Yue Mei was probably thinking that if she told him the truth, Bai Han would not agree to it easily. As for Bai Yu, she told the truth outright because she wanted to see her mother use her charm against her own husband. Maybe her father and mother will become closer. Hehe.

    “You’re a lady. Before marriage, you have to obey your father, after you marry, you’ll obey your husband, and when your husband dies, you’ll obey your son. Things like martial arts should be left to men.” Bai Han frowned but did not show anger. Her father must be quite level-headed.

    “It’s been several years since Yu-er became of age, yet she still hasn’t married into any family. Our daughter is already beautiful and flawless, so I see nothing wrong with her learning some martial arts to protect herself.” Yue Mei spoke more calmly and sweetly than any time she talked to her husband.

    “But…”

    “Don’t you want our daughter to be strong like me, dear?” This time her mother used her trump card. Bai Han was rendered speechless since he fell in love with her in the first place because she was both beautiful and strong.

    “How’s she going to live there, then? The mansion is full of soldiers.”

    “But it’s also the place I grew up in. There’s no need for you to worry.” She put her hand on Bai Han’s. The head of the Bai family immediately tensed up.

    Ever since what happened with Li Rong, the time he did mistake, this was the first time that Bai Han was this close to Yue Mei. Today, she was exceptionally attentive toward him.

    “Then I’ll leave the decision to Furen.”

    “Thank you, dear.”

    “Thank you, father.”

    I’ll never forget that father lost just by a touch on the hand of mother!

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    The villainess stayed and talked to her father and mother for a while before leaving with the excuse that she wanted to prepare her belongings. The truth was, she wanted her father and mother to have more alone time which was not during breakfast.

    Today she was thinking of sending designs for clothes that were practical and more suitable for training martial arts. However, she also needed feminine dresses to wear in everyday life as well, since she had thrown away most of them. Bai Yu drafted up two styles of clothes that were simple but different from normal clothes in this era. This time, she sent the designs to the Bai family’s personal tailor shop, along with a chest of fabrics that she picked out from what she had been given at the palace. She also specified in the order that she wanted them made as soon as possible.

    In the night that she cried herself to sleep in her mother’s arms, Bai Yu realized that she was at her lowest point, but, at the same time, she finally received a motherly love that she had been yearning for. There was nothing else for her to fear, so the next morning she begged her mother for permission to go train at her grandfather’s mansion, the place where experts in martial arts and magic gathered.

    She decided so for fear that an unexpected event would happen again. Moreover, she had sent Xiao Chang to investigate something which made her finally find the identity of the one behind the incident in the woods. The answer did not deviate from what Bai Yu had expected. This time, Xiao Chang was the one who both did the investigation and prepared a ‘present’ for her so swiftly and cleanly.

    While Bai Yu was watching maids preparing her belongings for tomorrow’s departure, a black light appeared in the form of a palm-sized great eagle and flew in front of her. It disappeared, turning into a letter in a black cloth sleeve.

           ‘I heard from mother that you want to learn martial arts. She wanted me to stop you from your funny ideas, but I actually agree with you. I was already informed that you were targeted. Even from afar, big brother’s still worried about you. What happened that day made me realize that I can’t protect you forever. Train hard, and come take this big brother back home with you.

With all my love,

Big brother’

    She beamed so wide that two dimples appeared on her cheeks. Bai Yu was glad to receive this letter. Sending magic messengers was quick but wasted quite an amount of magic. However, it was a trivial matter for her brother.

           Bai Yu went around to find paper and brush by herself as she let the maids continue with their work. But before she could start writing, the black magic eagle appeared in front of her again. Bai Yu accepted another small letter and opened it.

           ‘I forgot to ask. What did you say to Wangye? Normally, not even the Emperor can stop the black dragon when he’s decided to return to the border. But this time, a letter from the Emperor came just a few days after we left the capital. It said that the Emperor wanted his brother to be at the banquet. It was unusual. Even more unusual, Wangye accepted the Emperor’s invitation, even though he had been dead set on going back to the border. Is it because of something you said to him before the departure? Does it change his mind, or does it anger him so he wants to go back to punish you? It’ll be three days before I reach the capital. You too, prepare yourself.

Hope to see you soon,

Big brother’

           Seeing the content in the letter, Bai Yu did not know whether to laugh or cry. She was beyond happy that she could be with her brother again, but she was also unsure whether she could escape the wrath of that brute Wangye or not.

           That phrase should not make him too angry with her…But now that she thought about Ouyang Feilong, Bai Yu could not help but wonder.

    In the days that she felt weak, she had her mother to console her. But with his broken heart which she could see from his eyes that day, how did he manage it? How could he endure this pain? Was there someone beside him then?

    She could not find an answer no matter how hard she thought. Bai Yu who felt concerned for a fellow human then asked about Ouyang Feilong in her reply letter to her brother.

    She did not expect that the next morning, she would see that silver butterfly again. This time, it came with Ouyang Feilong’s letter. There was no sign of her brother’s black eagle. The letter was put in a beautiful black sleeve made of cloth. On it was a delicate flow of Ouyang Feilong’s handwriting that Bai Yu had seen once before.

           That time, she read Ouyang Feilong’s letter and carelessly replied out of anger.

           This time, the content of the letter was brusque. It said:

     ‘What’d a foolish woman ask about benwang for? Will it make you stronger? '

    What…the….!!!!!

    Bai Yu crumpled up that letter and threw it away without hesitation. The villainess cursed in her former world’s language again and again! Who would want to reply to this kind of letter? She already did him a favor by not running out to wring his neck after she finished reading it!

           “Miss, the carriage’s ready.”

           Bai Yu smoothed her expression back to calmness before turning to Xiao Xi. “What about father and mother?”

           “They’re heading to the front gate.”

           “Then let’s go.”

    Today Bai Yu stepped out of the mansion under the guise that she was going to visit her grandparents at the Yue mansion and stay there for several days to take care of them like a close relative would. Her training in martial arts was kept a secret.

    Even Bai Hua who was also a transmigrator did not know what Bai Yu’s objective was. She only knew that Bai Yu wanted nothing to do with her, so it was not unusual that Bai Yu would not want to be under the same roof as her.

    “Yu-er, you have to take good care of yourself. You know how your grandfather’s like.” Her mother gave her a farewell hug before saying so. Bai Yu nodded, then turned to hug her father and curtsy to both of them.

    Bai Yu got on the carriage with her two personal maids. Her belongings were loaded in another carriage. This was considered too few for a high-rank noble lady who was staying at a temporary residence, but it was more than enough for Bai Yu. She had already chosen many chests to leave behind.

    She was going to train martial arts, not attend a tea party. Those clothes and jewelry were not necessary. Though it was several days away from the royal banquet, Bai Yu did not bother to dress herself up excessively since she had already planned her clothes, hairstyle, and accessories for the occasion.

           As the carriage was heading toward general Yue’s mansion, Bai Yu wracked her brain to recall a memory from the original about what kind of person her grandfather, ‘Yue Chen’, was like. Obviously…she did not know.

    There was no memory about her grandfather in this body!

    It was possibly because Bai Yu and Yue Chen were not very close. Even in the series, Bai Yu had never acted in the same scene as the grandfather in the story. This time she might truly have to take a risk. She could not afford to retreat because apart from the Yue family, she was not sure if there was anyone else who could help her become stronger.

           Bai Yu knew how strong her mother was. It was only because of her marriage into the Bai family and what happened after that which made her mother unable to see the value of her own strength. Up until now, she never wanted Bai Yu to become more adept at magic or martial arts than how she was right now. When limited by the woman’s role as a mother, such things would only make a person more bitter.

           Yue Mei did not want her daughter to become like her, so she had set up a path ahead for her. Bai Yu’s only path was to become Qin Wang Fei but because of her tears that night, she backed down and let her daughter deviate from what she expected. She could only hope that Bai Yu would not end up like herself.

           “Greetings to Miss Bai.” In front of the Yue mansion, an elderly maid was standing before other maids. When Bai Yu got out of the carriage, they all curtsied to her. She nodded and smiled politely, slightly bowing her head to an elder.

    “Greetings from Yu-er to the elder.” She curtsied to her mother’s wet nurse. The woman showed a troubled expression just like every time before. Bai Yu smiled and continued. “…You’re my mother’s wet nurse. Naturally, I’d consider you my wet nurse too.” Both her words and action cause a wave of surprise throughout those from the mansion and other people who were around. It was such a rare sight for a young lady to give curtsy to a maid.

           “Miss, please do not do this. I am just a maid.”

    Bai Yu did not say anything else, only maintained a smile as she walked through the front gate. She did not want to put on an act that she was a respectful person, so she chose silence. What she did was only her habit of being polite and mannerly in a strange environment, but at the same time not appearing too weak to become a target.

    But she had nothing to worry about this Madam Ping. She had raised Yue Mei since infancy, so it was expected that her affection would extend to Bai Yu as well. The reason that Madam Ping could not follow Yue Mei to the Bai family was her health complications.

    “The general and elder Furen are waiting at the main building.”

    “Thank you.”

    Inside the general royal-protector’s mansion was spacious, with a clear division of each area. From the front gate to the main building, there were only a few soldiers who were acting as guards. They all kept their eyes to themselves when Bai Yu walked past. It can be said that this mansion could utilize its space and train the soldiers very well.

    When they reached the main building, Bai Yu saw that the masters in the mansion were all gathered there, waiting for her since her mother had sent words yesterday that Bai Yu was coming. The more Yue Mei, as the eldest daughter, was adored and cherished by the Yue family, the better the welcome that Bai Yu received.

           Currently, the Yue family was led by ‘Yue Chang’, Bai Yu’s uncle and Yue Mei’s younger brother from the same mother. He held the title of the lieutenant-general royal-protector and was second only to his father. His first Furen was from a wealthy merchant family and their eldest son ‘Yue Nan’ was practicing magic at ‘Divine valley’, a sacred area located in Da Chu that every magic user respected, while the younger daughter ‘Yue Huiling’ was the lieutenant-general of Da Yang’s grand army.

           Everyone in this family was pursuing ranks in the army. It was not unusual, since the Yue family had been trusted for their military prowess for many dynasties.

           Bai Yu kneeled to give the highest degree of respect to both of her grandparents. The elder Furen was an elderly woman who always had a smile on her face, opposite to her grandfather who had a large frame and was always quiet. Even with his old age, his solemn expression still could intimidate anyone.

           She started to understand why the original Bai Yu was not close to her grandfather. That must be because Yue Chen was the kind of person who was stern even without saying a word. Infants would start crying at the first glimpse of his face. Bai Yu could not help but think that Ouyang Feilong’s personality was largely passed over from her grandfather.

    Bai Yu tried not to tense under the royal-protector Yue Chen’s silvery gaze. She turned to bow to her uncle and aunt-in-law. Yue Chang was smiling like her grandmother, while her aunt-in-law lifted her chin arrogantly. Lastly, even with a slight frustration, she bowed to the woman who was the same age as her. She suspected that this must be Yue Huiling, a cousin who was older than her by a few months.

    “Greetings from Yu-er to biaojie*.”

    “No need for such formality, biaomei*. Our Yue family is a family of soldiers. We don’t concern ourselves with too many manners like the noble.”

    Apart from her strict grandfather who was hard to please, it seemed that this biaojie was not too pleased with her coming here. She would have to wait and see what the reason for that was.

    “You’re too much, Ling-er. Your aunt taught Yu-er as a noble lady, and she was called the number one beauty. There’s nothing wrong with her paying respect to you. Who’d be such a rascal like you.” The elder Furen spoke to her granddaughter who had always wanted to be strong like her aunt who had married away. Yue Huiling never cared about learning chess, qin, or poetry. She only wanted to train with her sword since she was a child up until she became the lieutenant-general, never thinking of herself as a woman.

    “A rascal and so what, grandmother? I’m both beautiful and strong, and also the lieutenant-general of the grand army. I’m not a noble lady who spends days dressing up and visiting the palace. Getting me used to those manners would be too difficult.”

           To say simply, biaojie was calling her beautiful but stupid.

           “Ling-er dear, don’t be too harsh on her. She comes here to relax. You’re ruining the mood.” It was her aunt-in-law who warned her own daughter, though the words she chose were far from amiable.

    “I just want to be close to biaomei. Didn’t know that Miss Bai Yu would take offense.” Yue Huiling said as she smiled to Bai Yu. It was a smile that was fake in whatever angle she tried to view it from, and what was even worse was the distant way of calling her name… It was saying that Is this the daughter of aunt Yue Mei she looks up to? Hmph! What a weak shrimp!

           “Don’t mind your biaojie, Yu-er. She was a little too straightforward, but actually she’s glad that you come here. I hope you’ll have fun.”

           It was clear that her aunt-in-law was accusing her of coming here just to play. What did this mother and daughter pair have against her? Did she escape from Bai Hua just to be confronted by this kind of woman?

    Fine! The villainess will show you!!

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*Shifu: A master who teaches a certain skill

*Biaojie: A word for addressing an older female cousin

*Biaomei: A word for addressing a younger female cousin