3

    Since marrying Toop, it had been a while since I last visited my parents, who lived in the suburbs. The drive took about two hours. Toop, who surprised me repeatedly, furrowed his brows noticeably when I mentioned where I wanted to go. Yet, despite his irritation, which did nothing to detract from his charm, he drove us to my family’s countryside home by the canal, arriving just before sunset.

    “We’re staying here tonight.”

    “Excuse me?”

    I turned to look at him, sitting in the passenger seat of the parked car, unsure.

    “I said we’re staying here tonight. It’s late, and I don’t feel like driving back.”

    “But if you’re not comfortable staying, I can—”

    “Did I say I wasn’t comfortable?”

    I hesitated to speak. He had not said he did not want to stay, but I never dared imagine Toop would suggest such a thing. While my family was not struggling, the gap between our social standings was significant. Toop came from a family of billionaires, surrounded by influential figures, and was a famous actor—so different from me.

    “What are you trying to say?”

    I shook my head and opened the car door. Saying more would only make him angry, and I did not want my parents to feel uneasy if I showed up with a troubled face. Despite the sudden visit, I had stopped along the way to pick up some gifts for them.

    “Mr. Toop—”

    “What?”

    He had followed me out of the car, grabbing the bag of gifts from the trunk without asking.

    “That’s for my parents.”

    “And?”

    His expression was blank yet teasing. This man always did whatever he wanted. Yesterday, he had said plenty to make me feel terrible, and today, what was he trying to do?

    “I bought those gifts for my parents. I’ll carry them myself.”

    “I’ll help.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “Why do you need me to explain everything, Anshan?”

    “Well, you—”

    “Oh, Anshan. And—oh, is that Mr. Toop?”

    “Dad.”

    “Hello, sir.”

    “M- Mr.Toop.”

    My eyes widened, addressing Toop in a stammer. Toop had stepped closer to me, draping an arm around my shoulders with a cheerful smile. My mind was flooded with questions.

    I had been holding back my frustration, determined not to argue with him, but my father’s sudden appearance seemed to transform Toop. The sharp-tongued man became someone warm and affectionate, acting as if we were a loving couple. His sudden politeness even prompted my father to hurriedly return his greeting with a wai.

    “Blessings to you, Mr. Toop.”

    “Oh, please, sir. You can call me the same way you call Anshan.”

    My father laughed. “I don’t think that’s appropriate. If Anshan’s mother hears me, I’ll get an earful for sure. But we’ll ease into it, son-in-law.”

    My father’s idea of easing into it was transitioning from calling him ‘Mr.’ to ‘son-in-law.’ And Toop, seemed perfectly fine with it, even pulling me closer.

    “And what’s this? You two show up at the house without letting us know? Why didn’t you call, Anshan?”

    I glanced up at the man who had brought me here before turning back to my father.

    “It was a last-minute decision, Dad. By the way, where’s Mom—”

    “Who’s here so late, Dad?”

    Before I could finish my question or my father could respond, the only woman in the house appeared, her smiling face prompting me to smile as well.

    “Anshan—oh my! Mr. Toop!”

    The joy in her voice when she saw me, her own son, was not nearly as loud as when she saw Toop. My mother, who never dreamed of having such a son-in-law, was now staring in awe at the famous actor she adored. She had even once encouraged me to try entering the entertainment industry. Instead of becoming an actor, though, I ended up marrying a leading man.

    During dinner, my mother seemed genuinely happy, eating with relish until my father cleared his throat as a subtle signal for her to tone it down. Every time she looked at Toop, her eyes sparkled with admiration. Meanwhile, Toop, the recipient of her attention, maintained a cheerful and polite demeanor, so much so that I could not help but feel a pang of annoyance. Still, my mother took care of me, frequently adding portions of her delicious cooking to my plate. When dinner was over, even though she could have left me to wash the dishes alone, she followed me to help.

    “I’m so happy, Anshan, to have you back and see you and Mr. Toop getting along so well.”

    I smiled at her as I stood drying the porcelain dishes that matched our modernized traditional Thai-style home.

    “I’m glad to see you and Dad smiling like this, too.”

    “How could we not smile? You’re happy in your marriage, and it’s with Toop Pasutha, no less.”

    “Oh, Mom.”

    I sighed softly and shook my head with a faint smile.

    “By the way, have you done anything to give Mr. Toop a headache lately?”

    I turned to look at her, frowning at the sudden question.

    “Mom.”

    “What?”

    “I—”

    I had not done anything, at least not like I used to when I lived at home. With Toop, I would not say I was not myself, but there was always a gap between us. Knowing he did not want me, any effort felt forced, and I did not want to be myself if it only made him grow colder.

    “Why don’t you go rest, Mom? Since you have your favorite celebrity in the house, don’t you want to chat with him some more? Who knows what Dad and Mr. Toop are talking about by now.”

    “I can always watch his dramas later.”

    “Mom, you’re giving me a headache.”

    I pouted, letting out an ’Ouch’ when she pinched my cheek playfully.

    “Have you finished getting clothes for Mr. Toop, Anshan?”

    I confirmed for my father, leaving the room to join the three of them in the living area. They seemed to be getting along well, as laughter echoed while I was preparing things for Toop. But as soon as I arrived, the laughter quieted, though everyone still wore smiles.

    “Well then, you two should head to your room, freshen up, and rest. Goodnight, Anshan.”

    “I’ve already showered, Mom. It’s just… Mr. Toop left to go last.”

    I spoke, my voice grew soft as I glanced at Toop who suddenly stood and walked toward me.

    “I got carried away chatting with your parents. Sorry about that.”

    If it started raining heavily tonight despite the clear, starry sky, I would not be surprised.

    The sharp-edged Toop I knew seemed to have disappeared somewhere, replaced by a gentle-voiced, touchy husband. He was quick to drape an arm around me or close the distance between us. While I wished for him to love me, this newfound behavior felt almost suspicious.

    “What’s with that face, Anshan?”

    My father’s question made me quickly shake my head.

    “Nothing. I’ll take Mr. Toop to our room now.”

    “Go ahead. If you need anything, just let Anshan know, son-in-law.”

    “Thank you, sir. Goodnight, ma’am.”

    “Goodnight. I’m sure I’ll sleep well tonight, dear,”

    my mother said to my father with delight, clearly over the moon about their actor son-in-law. I walked back to the room with Toop, still surprised by how close we appeared, almost like a real couple. Deep down, I felt a bit happy about it until the door shut behind us, and I turned to him.

    “Mr. Toop.”

    He let go of me. The cheerful expression he had just shown vanished as he looked at me, his face now distant.

    “You’ve showered already. Just go to sleep. Don’t wait for me.”

    I pressed my lips together as my eyes stung with heat, then nodded.

    “Thank you for at least playing the perfect son-in-law in front of my parents. They completely believed it.”

    At last, I understood that it was all just an act. None of it was real—not even a little bit. But the pain in my chest as I looked up at him was all too real.

    “I know my role, just as you know yours.”

    Once again, I nodded,

    swallowing the bitterness that rose in my throat. I turned and picked up the clothes I had prepared, handing them to him.

    “I’ve already hung the towel in the bathroom for you.”

    Toop said nothing, simply taking the clothes from my hands before heading to the en-suite bathroom. Left alone, the faint hope that had briefly swelled in my chest deflated. My heart ached, and my eyes burned, yet all I could do was force a solitary smile. A question rose in my mind once again: Husband… what must I do for you to love me?

    “The other day, I heard that Toop took you back home to visit your parents, didn’t he?”

    Toop and I sat on separate sofas in the living room, with his mother occupying the central sofa. We exchanged glances before he, as the son, answered her question.

    “Yes, Mother.”

    “That’s wonderful. Anshan must have missed home terribly, right?”

    I agreed with her word, appreciating her warmth and kindness since our first meeting.

    “Then why did you only stay for one night, Toop?”

    “I asked Mr. Toop to bring me back myself, ma’am.”

    She raised her eyebrow slightly.

    “Why?”

    If I were to be honest and say it was because of Toop, would that be okay? That night, when I realized his kindness was just an act and not genuine, I could not help but feel disheartened.

    I did not want to linger at home, consumed by sadness, as it would only worry my parents. So, I requested to return early. Toop did not object, though my parents were visibly surprised. They did not stop me but accepted my promise to visit again soon.

    “Anshan.”

    “He wasn’t feeling well. The other day, Thian mentioned he had a stomachache.”

    “Oh my, then why did Toop hear about it from Thian? Didn’t you notice Anshan wasn’t well?”

    “Mother.”

    She was as dramatic as expected, but Toop seemed used to it, addressing her calmly as if to pacify her. In truth, I had not been sick; the stomachache was entirely fabricated.

    “I’m fine now, ma’am. That day, I was just hungry.”

    She sighed in relief before smiling.

    “Well, that’s a relief. But if it happens again, Toop, you must take him to the doctor, alright?”

    “Yes, ma’am.”

    Toop seemed polite and personable with my parents, but with his own mother, it was a different story.

    “By the way, Mother, is there a particular reason you called us here today?”

    “Oh, goodness, I almost forgot the important matter while chatting about everything else. Let’s get to the point. Your father and I were discussing that we’d like you two to take a trip together.”

    “Excuse me?”

    She smiled warmly.

    “Well, it’s been three months since your wedding. Toop’s been busy every day, but now that he’s free, I thought it’d be a good time for a honeymoon to change the scenery. Ideally, I’d love for you to go abroad, but this year, I think traveling within Thailand is better.”

    Toop and I exchanged looks. I glanced at him, silently seeking his opinion on how to respond to her suggestion. If I made the decision myself while she was watching, it might not sit well with him. But before Toop could say a word—

    “So, it’s decided, then. I know Toop wouldn’t go against his mother, right?”