Chapter 4: My Name is Xiao Zhen

As the little princess finished speaking, he kicked Monnapha, now in the body of Xiao Zhen, without any preamble.

    "Sigh... I told you to just go and hug him, kiss him, just like this, like this."

    Monnapha was captured and taken back into the city in a state of unconsciousness. In the evening, the Deity Xuanwu returned, this time appearing as a larger and more imposing turtle, having exchanged his Hawaiian shirt for a neatly white suit with a tie. Monnapha, seeing the turtle deity's diligent demeanor, felt a bit relieved, but just as the turtle turned its shell, Monnapha noticed a big text that sticked on.

    ’Daddy Xuanwu, Protector of Zhen Mei.'

    "Cool, isn't it?"

    "Real cool, totally smashing," Monnapha didn't say anything because there was nothing to say. She was kicked unconscious and still felt a knot in her stomach. But Deity Xuanwu was beaming as if he had matched a loving young couple. If she ever got out, she vowed to flip the turtle's shell over and roast it!

    "Hey, who are you talking to?" a guard shouted.

    "Uh... nothing."

    "Hang him up!" Monnapha, now in a fragile male body, was captured and hung from a tree, swinging pitifully. Now kicked, now hanged, the frail body almost gave out. The lesson for all young people to learn, do not to recklessly wish for anything.

    This was a large city, surrounded by high walls with command towers on all four sides. Fires on the city walls illuminated the night, and the sound of lullabies drifted through the darkness. Groups of soldiers patrolled strictly. The large field nearby lay with wounded soldiers moaning in pain, the smell of blood and medicinal herbs indistinguishable in the air, and the ground beneath them so dirty, risking wounds infection. But they had no choice. Nearby were the stables and what seemed to be a storage for something.

    "Brother... Brother... let me go, please... I'm really not a criminal."

    "Shut up! If you keep talking, I'll sew your mouth shut," Monnapha was in pain and exhausted, barely able to breathe, but to avoid further trouble, she tried to remain still and composed.

    Most of the soldiers rested to gather strength for the next day's battle, while Monnapha also needed to find a way to survive until dawn. The sound of a wooden knocker marked the time, though she couldn't tell exactly when, but each knock meant dawn was approaching. Monnapha continued to fret internally.

    "Look there, the Grim reapers have come to collect spirits, tonight they will gather a few hundred more. Good thing you're not one of them."

    Deity Xuanwu chewed on some grass, pointing towards the shadows that flitted ahead of hundreds glowing spirits.

    Not far away, the little princess was punished by being confined in a goat pen, which was part of the army's supplies, where her brother was sure she would be warm at night. She hugged a goat and curled up in the straw, sleeping. Guards surrounded the pen to ensure the princess's safety without any decay. But for Monnapha, it was different. She remembered his fierce look and ended up being hanged without knowing what judgment would be passed onto her.

    "I miss home. I want to go back home. I swear I'll study hard, get good grades. I won't be lazy anymore, sob."

    "Come on, don't cry like a child. Be strong."

    "I want to be strong, but I can't. Sob, I'm going to die here for sure,"

    Monnapha looked up at the towering city walls, wide enough for eight horses to run abreast. The big, dark-colored tower on the wall was as bright as day. That was where the battle commands were announced… He must be there. It seemed close, but it was actually far away.

    Just thinking about leaving behind the comforts of the 21st century—electricity, the internet, comfortable bathrooms, and other amenities—made Monnapha sob uncontrollably. Here it was dark, damp, reeked of unpleasant odors, and was filled with wounded soldiers lying in the open. They were in so much pain that they passed out, yet they still moaned terribly. Some lay still and stiff, easy to guess that by morning they would be carried away by their friend to be buried. Those with severe wounds would have the blacksmith came to look, who would heat a metal rod until it glowed red and press it onto their wounds to cauterize them and stop the bleeding. The wailing sounds and the smell of burning flesh kept Monnapha from closing her eyes, only managing to widen them in horror.

    "You've studied animal dissection, haven't you? Don’t act like you’re afraid of blood."

    "Yes, but it's not as cruel as this," Monnapha trembled in fear. "I'm just a veterinary student. I… I… Oh, my head hurts! I want to go home. Take me back. I give up. I want to stay single for life, become a nun to wash away the bad luck! I'll stop playing the lottery, stop hanging out with turtles, I'll burn all turtle egg dessert shop to the ground. Sob."

    "Sigh!! Poor you. Don't be melodramatic, baby. Don't cry. Whatever Daddy promised, I haven't forgotten. Alright, tonight your guardian deity himself will help you. Daddy will send you to his quarters. Of course, you'll have to be naked, hehe."

    "If you don't want her to be chopped in half by my brother, I wouldn't recommend that,"

    Princess Yong’an said without opening her eyes. Monnapha was both confused and surprised, turning to look at Deity Xuanwu, who hovered on a cloud of golden mist. The young princess slowly sat up, locking eyes with Deity Xuanwu with a mix of annoyance and agitation.

    "P… Princess, did you see... Y... Your Highness?" Monnapha gasped for breath and just gaped, just like Deity Xuanwu, who quickly flopped to the ground, pretending to be a harmless little turtle.

    "I saw you fall from the sky... and then that turtle..."

    Princess bit her lip lightly. Despite her efforts to ignore the supernatural, her curiosity always got the better of her. When she saw Monnapha's body gently floating down like a feather, the princess grabbed a bow and sneaked out of the city to see the mysterious lady from the sky with her own eyes. As the princess was speaking, Deity Xuanwu disappeared and reappeared on her lap, startling her with a jump. She might admit to seeing something supernatural, but it was too soon to welcome them completely.

    "Daddy must thank you for your kindness to all my wives and children."

    Deity Xuanwu gently expressed his gratitude. The Princess was startled and pretended to hear nothing, convincing herself she did not see or hear anything.

    "Hey, don't be afraid. Daddy isn't a ghost; I’m a deity."

    The Princess glared at the turtle deity. "I'd rather meet a ghost than a so-called deity as unreliable as you!"

    Monnapha wanted to applaud, thoroughly pleased. Deity Xuanwu chewed his lips, clearly irritated, ready to argue with the child, but instead, he used his divine vision to inspect the girl's memories and then burst into laughter.

    "Prayers are always the refuge of the foolish. This is the lesson that Deity Guan Yu has taught you. If you still don't understand and keep blaming everything, it's fitting that you remain foolish until you die." Deity Xuanwu’s cryptic words made the young girl's face flush with embarrassment. Monnapha was clueless about their discussion, but clearly, the princess's hostile attitude towards the deities softened temporarily.

    "Are… Are you really Deity Xuanwu?"

    "Yes, absolutely, confirmed."

    "And her... well, him?" the Princess gestured at Monnapha, whose fate was twisted by divine power.

    "Her name is Zhen Mei. For now, call her Xiao Zhen; Daddy brought her here."

    "Hey, you can't just go around changing people's names as you please." Monnapha protested, and the guards around them exchanged looks. As the princess seemed to be lost in conversation with the fair-skinned prisoner, during the interview, magical transformations enveloped Monnapha again, wrapped her like a golden cocoon. Within a split second, she turned into a beautiful woman, as beautiful as a rainbow, but a rainbow destined to vanish. It seemed Monnapha was breathing too heavily, her body reverted to male form just as quickly. The guards turned back too late to witness the transformation.

    Monnapha was distraught. "I guess I'll be stuck being neither fully male nor female for the rest of my life."

    "You should be a woman in front of my brother, not me," the Princess frowned, glaring at Deity Xuanwu. "The deities are always so cruelly playful. You did this on purpose."

    "Yes, Daddy teased her,"

    Deity Xuanwu admitted readily. "It's a condition set by Master Xuantian Shangdi. If your older brother easily possesses this little girl, he'll just as easily discard her. Ultimately, he wouldn't understand the meaning of love. Master Xuantian Shangdi made a bet with Yuhuang Dadi. Thus, Yuhuang Dadi thinks that if a handsome man and a beautiful woman meet too easily, they'll bond too easily. So, he gave a little test to Prince Yan Sanqi."

    "Go test this on him then!" Monnapha exploded in frustration, just like a hot spring. "What are you betting on?! You've gone too far with your tricks. Turn me back this instant!"

    "Shush, little girl, calm down. The only one who can undo this spell is that one person. Daddy’s helping you, you know."

    "The one who can help her is my brother, right?" The Princess stroked the goat's fur while thinking. "And if I blab about this to my brother, the condition becomes even more severe, doesn't it?"

    Deity Xuanwu smiled, pleased. "Exactly, smart little princess. The faster he falls for Xiao Zhen, the quicker she'll be freed from the spell. Master Xuantian Shangdi has decreed that he will grant him a beautiful woman only when he has proven his love from the heart."

    "How should he prove it? Storm through fire and water, or cut out his heart to show?"

    "It's much simpler than that. All he has to do is kiss her."

    "Well, that should be easy. My brother can break this spell very quickly."

    "He must kiss her in the form of Xiao Zhen for her to permanently revert to her original form, but be careful because the old rival of mine, Moon Elder, is on Yuhuang Dadi's side," the princess listened and rolled her eyes instantly. Crazy! The young princess couldn't imagine how her burly brother would ever agree to kiss this clear face man. As for Monnapha, well, she looked as if she'd been high on glue for ages.

    "If that's the case, I need you to revise the terms," Monnapha gritted her teeth, negotiating for her life. "I will be a man during the day and a woman at night. Is that possible?"

    "That's unlikely," Deity Xuanwu replied, devoid of compassion.

    "Why?"

    "I could do it, but where's the fun in that? Don’t you agree?" Deity Xuanwu wandered on a golden cloud around Monnapha. "You'll transform into a man every time your heart races."

    "That's not fair at all."

    "This is just a small amusement for the Queen Mother Xiwangmu. If Daddy wanted to change the condition, it wouldn't be hard, but Daddy have no reason to do so. Hey, don't look at Daddy like that; I really want to help you. Daddy’s the North deity, the most resolute of the Four Symbols. No one matches my power. With just a flick of my finger, I can shake the heavens, even Yuhuang Dadi respects me. All the deities in heaven can vouch for me."

    The princess, listening, then tried to help her negotiate.

    "Just help then, no need for verbosity. If what you say is true, you don't need witnesses. Pretend this is heaven and show us your power."

    The bragging turtle deity found no reply. In reality, Deity Xuanwu was just a minor deity, not as grand as he claimed. The princess saw right through it and did not let go. "It's clear she's at a disadvantage with your terms and was pulled into this without consent. Therefore, to avoid allegations of bullying a defenseless woman, you must grant her the conditions she requests as compensation."

    Deity Xuanwu nodded in agreement, flicking his tongue with a 'pop'. "Alright, but if you hint this secret to your brother, I will take this back. So, be open to love with deep connection."

    Monnapha was sick of the idealistic worldview. Overcoming everything with the power of love was too much; she felt like vomiting rainbows.

    "If you accept the agreement, then just return her to her original form right now."

    "Sorry," Deity Xuanwu laughed mockingly. "The sun has already risen, so as per the agreement, she must remain as Xiao Zhen. If you demand more, you risk losing everything."

    The princess looked at Monnapha, unable to argue but to accept.

    "How can you expect me to fall in love with someone who has tried to kill me with a spear, hung me from a tree? And him... he's not the romantic lead in the Boys’ love novels I adore, who'd swoon at a pretty boy's face, but a damn fierce general. How could he ever turn to kiss a man?!"

    "Heh, heh, that's what makes love so charming."

    If I could throw a shoe at that turtle, I would. What kind of charming madness is this love?! Monnapha was not at all willing to be part of this bet, yet she had to accept the conditions, displeased with whatever the outcome might be. Just then, the guards promptly stood alert, a sign that someone of the highest importance was approaching.

    "He's here now. I'll leave first. Keep your mouth shut and make sure you don't breach the agreement. See you again tomorrow."

    Deity Xuanwu disappeared along with the demonic snake, his gaze last resting on the red thread tied to Yan Sanqi's finger, unconnected to Monnapha. Deity Xuanwu feigned ignorance and left silently. Monnapha muttered to herself, and before she knew it, he was standing right in front of her.